Last week I came across an article about sex education in The LA times.
And immediately I thought of Dr. Corry. And the drawings of cocks and vaginas on my own primary school teacher's blackboard. Where a small country can be big. And right after that I thought about how I actually do that myself, now that I've been living here for six years now with teenage sons? I was reminded of a story of a boy who had sex for the first time after he was eighteen and that what he had seen of pornography on the internet was totally reenacted in bed. The girl in question was of course shocked as the violence was not at all what she needed. He just thought it was supposed to be like this…..Well, that's what you get if you, as educators, don't communicate openly and clearly to adolescents what sex really is and how things should ideally go between two young people. With respect for each other's wishes and needs.
Joyce also wrote a while ago about the sexual education that is starting to come to her son, with some appropriate embarrassment here and there, some things are already being discussed carefully, but that is different in the US.
In the United States, the subject of sex as part of parenting is still shunned or grudgingly giggled at. This naive conservative attitude towards sex education in America has resulted in, among other things, that the United States has the highest number of teenage pregnancies in the Western world.
No, take an example from The Dutch, the article says.
There the number of teenage pregnancies is 8 times lower and the number of teenage abortions is almost twice as low. Of course, these figures are also influenced by demographic factors such as the size of the country, more poverty and more conservative tendencies, but still….
For example, an American girl is more sexually active than a Dutch girl, does it more often and with more different partners, enjoys sex less and also uses less contraceptives.
What is so different about Dutch sex education and education?
The answer, of course, lies in the openness of the subject in our country. Teachers, doctors and especially parents approach the subject of sex with much more freedom and few taboos. While American parents mainly talk about the potential risks and dangers of sex or make lame jokes about it, Dutch parents discuss the pleasure and responsibilities that come with sex and intimacy. Questions such as 'How far are you actually', 'How was it and did you enjoy it?' are not avoided and topics such as masturbation, porn, orgasms and mutual pleasure are also discussed.
In addition, American teenagers are kept much shorter than Dutch teenagers. Just look at a subject like drink and drugs. In American education it is more a matter of jealously keeping away, formulating strict rules and instilling fear. While Dutch parents mainly try to make children responsible and resilient by discussing these topics openly, letting them explore their limits and taking responsibility for themselves.
Yes, The Dutch indeed seem to have it all figured out!
