On a fine Sunday morning I drove onto the highway with my child, toddler and toddler. There was a cautious sun and judging by the clothes of my kids, I expected a sweltering day. On the highway I turn the music up a bit, so that I can better ignore the starting argument in the back seat.
While I give the accelerator a good push - Sunday mornings are quiet after all - I see the crow family busy with their meal. As I let off the throttle, most of the black cups fly away, but one remains in the middle of the road. Before I realize it, the crow hits the car and remains on the asphalt. In my rear-view mirror I can just see a wing going up and down. A kind of last greeting.
Had I processed this whole scene internally, little would have happened. But I let out a decent scream, with the necessary Ooh and Aah screams. The child in the back seat immediately asks what is going on. I can't help but confess my crime.
"Mommy just killed a crow." Child translated for toddler and screams in a very high voice:'Mama killed a bird, Mama killed a bird'.
Toddler immediately starts crying and toddler shouts:'Bird now, bird now'? I comfort the toddler by saying that it is very annoying, but that I couldn't do anything about it. Toddler continues to cry and child tries to comfort the toddler through reasoning.
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"It was a black bird, black isn't your favorite color is it?" "There are a lot of birds, so it's not that bad, isn't it?" All kinds of big questions about color and the uniqueness of humans and animals bubble in my head, but I let the child comfort the toddler. "You know what would be bad? If there had been a human. Then you can cry so hard, then I would cry too, wouldn't you, mom?
Toddler just keeps crying. In the end we decide on the way back to see where the crow is and that we are now going to play a game of counting cars. On the way back, my children sit with their noses against the window and look for the crow. As with more in life, you see more when you learn to see from a different perspective. Just as they search for the crow, they discover that the entire highway is littered with dead hedgehogs, birds, bunnies and even a cat. The Oohs and the Aahs are coming from the backseat this time.
There is no crow at the crime scene, which makes it confusing and hopeful. Child thinks he has crawled to the roadside with his last strength and toddler thinks that his friends have taken him and that they are taking good care of him. The toddler still asks, "Bird now"? I drive on in silence.
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