Pauline Jonker motivates students so that they enjoy going to school and also have less difficulty learning. She does this by applying SLiM learning (Faster, Nicer and Easier). Pauline also provides 'our parents' with advice when it comes to the guidance we can give to our children. This time about making agreements about homework.
Doing homework…. from group 7 (sometimes a little earlier) every child and every parent has to deal with it. But what do you do? Making agreements about homework or letting go? In any case, you can't avoid it, with many families this is a frequently recurring topic for discussions. This is not crazy. A lot of skills are required of the children. You actually have to be able to do a lot of homework to be able to do/learn. Think of:planning, persevering, learning, organizing, taking responsibility, discipline. And we are not there yet. Many of these skills have yet to be mastered by the children. This is a trial and error process. Are you going to make agreements about this as a parent? And how can they actually learn effectively, so that the material stays with you?
Read also: learn to plan homework, we must help
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This lack of skills also demands a lot from parents. Because how do you handle this? How much do you help? What do you help with? And how do you do that? What do you do when your child is not motivated? And you have probably heard and read that as a parent you just have to let it go.
I often get the question:should I make agreements about homework or let go? Unfortunately, there is not just one answer to this. Too bad huh;) . This really depends on the child, the parents and the situation.
You certainly cannot let go of children from group 7 who are doing homework for the first time. It's like she lets you swim without armbands, when they can't swim yet…
Once in high school it is sometimes good to let go. For example, if there is too much arguing about homework. If your child does not want to take anything from you (which is quite normal at that age 😉 ). Sometimes experiencing it yourself and going "down" is necessary as a wake-up call.
Does making agreements about homework help? Yes, sure!
But…. then it must be agreements and not rules drawn up by the parent(s)! When there are many discussions in the house about homework, it often happens that it is no longer possible to have a normal conversation about it and to make agreements.
Very unfortunate, of course, because children often have good ideas about what can work for them. And they learn a lot more when they come up with and try things themselves.
Read also: 5 tips to keep homework fun
During a conversation with your child you can, for example, ask the following questions:
It is still difficult for adolescents to foresee the consequences of something. You help them enormously by making this clear to them. An example:
Schedule a time next week to talk quietly about homework. Ask your child questions out of interest. Try to keep your own opinion and judgment to yourself as much as possible. (difficult 😉 ?!)
Make 1 appointment from this conversation † That agreement comes from your child (see the agreement above for an example). Also agree when you will talk about how it went. In the meantime, name what you see in your child. In this way you make the process clear, and above all tell your child that it is normal that learning new skills involves trial and error. And especially show your own examples!
Are you in the situation where there is only an argument at home about homework and a normal conversation is no longer possible? Please enlist help. This way you can let go in a controlled manner and there is more room for other things. Doing homework -or rather 'not doing homework'- is really not a bad atmosphere in the house. worth it!
In my next blog I will tell you whether to punish and reward. What does or does not work in motivating you to do homework?
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