It's been messy at work for a while. Both the word mess around and the concept for a while is an understatement in this case, which makes it busy in my head. I've read somewhere that people have to process these kinds of violent changes, a bit as if they are grieving. Say goodbye to what you know and be open to the future. I'm not very good at letting go. Especially not if what you have to let go of has not been all bad. Fortunately, you can learn from your child… that becomes clear when you read on 😉 .
It's about seven in the evening and that means it's time for my little girl to let go of the day again. She has a hard time with it; she probably looks like her mother. Procrastinating, lingering, moaning, reading another story, hugging and kissing again, and oh oh oh, we are suddenly thirsty. When she's finally in bed, she asks in her sweetest voice if I'm coming to stay with her tonight. A while ago we agreed that I would spend the night with her in her room during the next holiday. I tell her I'm not really coming to stay tonight, because she has to go to school tomorrow and Mom thinks it's important that she is rested then. "I don't think you can rest if I stay with you, because then you'll be snuggled up instead of sleeping." She has to laugh.
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Okay, come on, mommy will stay with you for another five minutes. We chat and cuddle. Five minutes turns into fifteen. When I announce that I'm really going to leave, she says, “Mama, will you come and see me later?”. Yes of course dear, I say, doesn't mommy do that every night? Yes, I know, she says, “But you went to visit your neighbor tonight, didn't you? How long will it take for you to come back to me?” I say that it will take a while; it's the neighbor's birthday and when mom goes to bed she comes to see you and give you a kiss or a pat.
“But mom, I don't care at all?! Then I'm already asleep, and then I don't notice it!" I promise her she will notice one way or another.
I have now reached the doorway. "Mom?" “Yes doll.”
“If you really come to stay with me, will we say goodbye to the bad dreams together and have fun for the rest of our lives? You should also have fun more often.”
She's just five, that sweet chick. How right is she. I walk back to her bed. “Agreed dear. We are going to have fun together for the rest of our lives.” Suddenly letting go is not so difficult anymore.
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