Playing outside is fun, healthy and good for the development of children. But when is your child ready to play outside alone? And perhaps even more difficult… is mom also ready if her child wants to play outside alone? Do you think it's all a bit too early? Then you can at least design your garden in a child-friendly way. But one day they will really spread their wings… And here are some tips for that.
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Last year we moved to a new neighborhood. One of the reasons why we chose this neighborhood is because our child can play outside alone. It is a child-friendly neighborhood with many playmates, a playground behind our house and little car traffic. An ideal and safe place to play outside. The first time I went along every time Laura wanted to go outside. Until it turned out that other children her age were also playing outside without supervision. Laura figured this out pretty quickly and then the comment came:“Mom, you don't have to stay here! You can go home, I'll just stay out here playing.”
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That was clear, my daughter sought her freedom. Our child really wants to play outside alone with no mother around just like her playmates. But I wondered if she was ready for that? I've walked through the neighborhood a few times because I lost her when she was playing alone with other children. Or actually she wasn't just playing outside together.
My heart stops for a moment at those moments, because imagine that she has lost its way, or worse, has been taken by someone with bad intentions? At those moments, the worst scenarios run through my head. Fortunately, both times it turned out that she was playing with another child from the neighborhood. I think she is getting more and more old that she wants to play outside on her own and I can't and don't want to stop this either. Moreover, we came to live in this neighborhood because it is such a nice place for Laura to play outside. I grant my daughter her freedom, she is five years old, but I still have trouble letting go of her.
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Now if Laura asks if she can play outside, I'll let her go. I usually go along to see if there are other children or if she has found a playmate. If so, she can only play outside.
However, she has to keep to the agreement that she will stay on the playground and if she wants to play with another child, she must first come and ask. She definitely shouldn't go with anyone like that. I also make sure that I keep an eye on her by regularly checking how she is doing. It is and remains very exciting, but it is going well at the moment. Yet I continue to find this process very difficult myself!
You hear the question regularly. Mothers who ask each other - or on the internet - the question from what age a child can play outside alone. Of course that depends on several things. As described above, this is partly up to you, but it also has to do with how your child is put together.
There are enough children of 4 years old who are already allowed to play outside alone. Around the corner for example. Or across a dead end road. Just take a look yourself regularly, preferably unseen.
By letting your child play outside alone, you ensure that he or she becomes more independent, but also gains more self-confidence. And don't we all want our children to glow with self-confidence? So give them the chance. But make sure it's safe. Make clear agreements. Is your child not following your appointments? Then take a step back into the freedom you gave your child and build up from there.
I wonder when you first let your child play outside alone? What agreements have you made with your child about this and how did that go?
