I regularly receive emails from young girls about the costs of a photo shoot. I am a professional photographer, and in itself there is nothing wrong with potential clients. Yet I am often shocked by the openness of children (because they still are) on social media. With someone they don't know. Children and social media remain a difficult combination. How do you protect your child these days when the world they live in is largely digital?
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What strikes me is the age of the girls who approach me. They are often girls in the age group of twelve to sixteen years. They approach me through Facebook. When I click on their profiles in the mail, I don't just see their age. Nine times out of ten their entire life. Children often fail to see the danger of sharing certain information on social media. But we, adults, do. Especially because we can often call it antisocial media…
Why do I click on those profiles? Well, precisely because I want to know their age. I will never make an appointment with children without their parents' permission. And I mean girls or boys under the age of eighteen. I don't just feel obliged to do this. I also think it is necessary to give children, because they are, although they often look like young adults nowadays, that they are sometimes too easy on the internet and with social media. Especially in making certain decisions. Or in making agreements, which are the responsibility of the parents. Unfortunately, my approach will not solve the problem of vulnerable children and social media alone.
I always email back, not only with the requested information, but also with the request that, if they want to make an appointment, one of their parents will contact me by phone. Because I want to make sure I have permission. In this way I also want to let these young people know that it is dangerous to make appointments with strangers on the internet without their parents.
As a parent, it is smart to explain the dangers of social media to children. Just like the dangers of game addiction † Because children and social media, there should be a leaflet with that. If you limit your kids too much, it will work against you. But on the other hand, of course you want to protect them from everything. On top of that, kids these days seem to do anything for the likes. It seems like they live for the likes † What does that do to them? With their self-confidence? With their insecurity?
Children are outlawed. I know that the social networks on the internet are a part of their lives these days. Still, I think we as parents should keep our eyes and ears wide open. Despite our busy lives with full time and part time jobs. I am amazed at the ease with which children approach a complete stranger, because that is who I am to them. With an openness that scares you. Unthinkingly assuming that I am indeed the photographer I say I am and would quietly make an appointment with me, without any consultation with parents, if I didn't put a stop to it.
I am amazed at the open and extensive profiles of children on their social media. And worst of all, I find it downright shocking that I'm being e-mailed phone numbers and addresses without any hesitation, which I don't even ask for! I am also shocked when, after my request that a parent should contact me, I receive an email back with:“I don't have to ask that, I am already thirteen years old. My father and mother are fine with that.” I don't like that, so I don't make an appointment without one of the parents talking to me on the phone and I go one step further. I want children under a certain age not to come alone, but for father and/or mother, at least one adult, to come along.
This may sound a bit exaggerated, but that's fine. What I only want to say here is that, in my opinion, the freedom that children have, get and take on the internet is often too great. If a child is going to be active on the internet, there must be strict rules about what is and is not allowed and this must be strictly controlled. That children learn to look at the things they are offered on the internet with a healthy mistrust. And that they handle this very carefully, and especially in consultation with the parents.
How do we deal with this as parents, who are not always at home when the children come home from school and dive behind their PC or laptop? Where do you set your child free in this time and where do you draw the line very strictly as a parent in terms of responsibility? What makes us often think that a child lock on the internet and fixed computer times, offers enough security?
We all know that we cannot protect our children 100% as we would like. I just think that we should take more responsibility for ourselves as parents in the 'outlaw' status of our children. Our chicks shouldn't be locked in a golden cage, but there are birdcage doors at certain ages that definitely need to be kept closed with a double lock. Until they're older, and hopefully wise enough, so they can fly out those doors too. It is up to us to check those locks very regularly. How do you handle that? Follow your child on Instagram for example, do you do that? And do they know that too?
We have one golden tip for all concerned parents. From kids who have already flown into the digital world. You can maintain security there. With Circle with Disney for example. This way you keep control over your children's internet use † Adjustable to the age of all your kids. So that children and social media can still become a safe combination. There is also the special Kurio Tablet , on which children can safely discover the digital world.
