A life with (small) children is not always a bed of roses:in fact, romance is sometimes very hard to find. And the sex? Well, like many other mothers, I found it difficult to pick up my old life after giving birth. And not only after childbirth, it actually remains a recurring 'issue'. Especially with your own business and growing children, one of which has been staying up for a while, your relationship is sometimes under considerable pressure stout and it's hard to find moments together; the romance in your relationship is hard to find.
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But romance and sex are things that I still find important (and not just me 😉 ) and for which time must be made available. For a while we have been trying to deal with this consciously and to really plan the romance. Now you can imagine that your romance in your relationship can't plan, but nothing could be further from the truth. You just have to take action † Want to know how I try to keep the romance in our relationship? Then read on quickly.
We have (as you may know) two growing children in the house that regularly stir things up and although I love them very much, I can sometimes stick them behind the wallpaper. They simply require a lot of attention. For that reason -and the fact that the work is never finished- it is obvious that my partner and I are too little time have for each other. Not comparable to the past and 'for old times sake' it was high time to change that, because before you know it you will grow apart.
We plan a date with each other almost every week , without the kids. You understand that that is fun! Sometimes we out for dinner or enjoy a concert (for example, tonight we go to Armin van Buuren); other weeks we just stay nice at home and I try to make something special in terms of food, for example. The children then go to bed really early (we send the eldest upstairs earlier that evening, he is allowed to watch some TV in his room) and of course we don't eat until around 8 pm. Include a candle, open a nice bottle of wine and voilà, there you have the start of the romance in your relationship again! Of course we try to talk about the children as little as possible on those evenings; the intention is that it is really about us † Delicious!
I see it happening to many women:after giving birth they make little effort to look nice. And I understand that too, because being a mother is hard enough and sometimes you have those days when you just don't feel like it. No problem, but try to keep that as an exception. If you want to keep the romance in your life Of course it doesn't help if you just plop on the couch in your sweatpants after a long day. Or imagine… I have an office at home and I could just roll out of bed at my leisure and sit in front of my PC, but I don't think that's how it works. Make an effort to keep looking nice (and not just for him, for yourself too!), ask your man what he most likes to see you in, or wear clothes with some romantic details. Sexy lingerie always works well too 😉, my hubby always notices immediately when I'm wearing something new!
The key to a successful relationship and more romance in your relationship:communication! It is very important to keep talking about the things that keep you busy. So don't bottle anything up, because that will only lead to frustration. Have faith in each other, don't be too dependent and listen carefully. I notice that when I put enough energy into our relationship, you get that energy back. And that only benefits the romance!
Of course you like to be surprised. So is your partner! How sweet is it to make a small gesture put it in his lunch box, or put it on his pillow before you go to sleep? Or send a what's app with only a kiss † It's these little things that make him feel how much you love him, appreciate him, and think of him.
How do you keep the romance in your relationship? Do you have an 'agreement' about this or is the spontaneity still there (and if so… share your secret!).
