Having your second child is a different experience than having your first child. With your first child, it feels like a huge milestone in your life. You suddenly become the mother of a small helpless pile of human beings. And the first one you don't know at all. Instant guilt, hello. You resolve to learn everything and show your very best side. And that ranges from sterilizing -well, just about everything- to making snacks yourself or requesting a maternity box. With your second child, this is a little different!
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And then comes the second. Still a huge milestone, but you've already learned the basics. Although a second child can be very different. And suddenly you have not one, but two of those children who are completely dependent on you. I got my two boys right after each other, they are only 14 months apart.
And with the second you do it a little differently….
First child: When the pacifier falls, I immediately run to the counter to sterilize it or at least rinse it with boiling water. Or I buy a new one. Damn it. burp cloth? Two spots and it goes into the cooking wash.
Second child: I pick up the pacifier and make sure there are no hairs on it. Lick it yourself and put it back in his mouth. Good for his resistance. burp cloth? I think it's been on the couch for a few days, but it's still possible.
First child: That has to be done with sterilized water. So cook first, let it cool and make a bottle. You don't want your child to catch anything!
Second: Hot water from the tap is fine. Our drinking water is clean enough. Relax.
First child: You are overprotective and hypercautious. “Watch out with his neck! You have to hold him so-and-so. Careful!”
Second child: “Just hold him upside down. Does he like it.”
First child: I check off every milestone. 4 months:fruit snack (or vegetable, because he has to get used to that and better savory than sweet first, right?) 6 months:bread crusts. With my first child I know exactly what he can have and when.
Second child: During the 7.5-month consultation at the health clinic you find out that he should have been used to bread for a month and a half. Oops, forgot…
First child: I will make all snacks myself and as responsibly as possible. Preferably also organic vegetables because he gets the best of the best. You might also want to consider the Rapley method.
Second child: Ah, the Olvarit jars are on sale. Immediately stock up.
First child: Everything is extensively documented. Each photo book is neatly arranged in a row, various photos are printed and hung.
Second child: First time standing? First time walking? First time on the potty? Oops, forgot to take pictures…
First child: “Do you know what you used to say to Chocomel? kakua! Funny right?" I wrote everything down and documented it in triplicate. His Baby's First Year book is chock-full of moments. When did he start walking? I remember. When my first child peed on the potty for the first time? Can I spoon it up.
Second: “What did you say to apple juice? Not a clue, can't remember…” Sorry boy. I thought I remembered…. I started that Baby's First Year book, but I gave up halfway through. So when did he start walking? Ehhh… no idea.
First child: Ok, it doesn't have to be very expensive, but it has to be fun. And tough. Not with those garish prints and not a dime a dozen clothes either. He must look a little special. Dressing your baby second hand is fine, but it has to look good.
Second child: Okay, it doesn't have to cost anything. He just gets everything from his brother. Second hand with stain in it? No problem. Would he have done it himself otherwise? And if I ever need something, just easy and cheap from the C&A baby department with such a loud Cars print because he likes that, that Cars.
First: Aah, he fell just as bad! I fly over to it, go through it completely and check that there is no permanent damage. Can he still move everything without roaring? Luckily nothing broken. Aggut, a tooth through his lip. I fly to the kitchen for a cloth and some ice. Immediately cool down. And I carefully clean his broken knees and apply nice large plasters.
Second: Oh, he's about to fall to the ground. Leave it there to see if it gets up. Oh, he does. Then it probably isn't that bad. “Come here and I'll pick you up,” I call to him. Aggut, a tooth through his lip. I shuffle into the kitchen, grab a clean towel and put some cold water on it. Sit down, man, it'll be over in a minute. Oh, scraped knees? Just let it breathe. It barely bleeds. When the tooth stops bleeding through the lip, I clean the scuffed area with the clean parts of the towel. Ready!
First child: Crying my eyes out. On the first day of daycare it was bad because how degenerated are you as a mother if you leave your child behind?! The first day of school, pooh. I was already crying in class and had to be comforted in the schoolyard. Why is my kid getting so groohoohoot, boohoohoo. I'm not ready for this at all!
Second child: If you put your child on his chair and give a kiss, you just don't walk out of the room cheering. You throw your arms out in a Hallelujah moment to heaven:FREEDOM!!! You may still shed a tear, but that is one of pure happiness. God, what were you up to!
