Positive parenting, it sometimes sounds like semi-vague, but did you know that it leads to adults who are very independent and also have self-confidence? One of the most important things you can learn as a child:self-confidence. Sandy likes to explain how she applies positivity in her upbringing.
My vision is that where your attention goes, it will grow. Do you focus on the positive during parenting or do you focus on 'the problem? During every situation regarding the upbringing of our daughter I try not to react directly from emotion to 'the problem' that arises, but I first try to take a step back and see how we can do this in a positive way. dissolve.
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For example, my daughter thought it was a nice idea last month to sprinkle the packet of flour from the kitchen drawer over the floor. It would be a normal reaction if you first think 'help, what a mess!' and then want to point out to your toddler that this is not allowed. An example of a positive approach might be, "Oh my gosh! It looks like it has snowed in the kitchen. Did you make it snow?” “Oh oh little snow monster, shall we feel what the snow feels like? The snow feels very soft, but we will clear it up together, because then the kitchen will be nice and clean again!'
It's almost bedtime for our cozy toddler. I look around me and just barely say it out loud:'Gosh, what a lot of toys everywhere!' You know that feeling? You don't really feel like having your child clean up everything 'quietly' just before going to sleep, so you clean it up yourself 'quickly'. In my opinion, this can of course also be done 'differently' and I came up with a number of tips in the context of positive parenting.
Tips for a positive approach so that cleaning up becomes fun for both. In addition, it is very good for development to encourage children to clean up themselves!
Don't tell them that you are going to clean up, but just start singing out of the blue and of course do a nice dance. 'We're going to clean up! We're going to clean up! Put it where it belongs, the stuff sort by sort. We're going to clean up! We're going to clean up! Clean up everything! Do you have a pan and a ladle? make 'music' with it!
Make it a 'competition':'Whoever can clean up all the cars first will be allowed to later……(fill in yourself)
Make it a `coloring game`:`Can you point out all the colors? Get rid of all the red things first, then the yellow ones and so on.
"Come on, clean up real quick! Mom is counting. Let's see how fast you can do that!' 1…,2…,3..,4 etcetera
Grab a magic wand and say, "Hocus, pocus pilates pas, I wish everything was cleaned up!" huh? Mom can't do magic at all, all the toys are still there!'
Can you conjure up all the toys? (Then give the magic wand, have him or her say a magic spell and then shout:come, clear up everything quickly! Yeah! you can magic everything away'.
Would you like to learn more about positive parenting? Here you will find more reading material on this topic.
Of course positive parenting means more than just cleaning up with your toddler or preschooler 😉 . And you don't have to be a curling parent to engage in positive parenting. Below I have also indicated more directions for you that have to do with positive parenting and that are easy to apply. If you just stop and think about it.
Make sure you really think about the attention you are giving. Not half and half because you're still working, or reading. But really listen and have a conversation. Your child really feels heard and that's what parenting is all about.
Sometimes positive parenting just doesn't cross your mind. In a drama situation in the supermarket, for example. However, it is important not to put too much emphasis on it. Of course you are allowed to perform if your child is not amenable to reason. But the power of positive parenting lies in the fact that you also see the good things. And that you encourage that.
Remember that your child is a child. Don't set expectations that are unrealistic for a toddler or preschooler and then accept some things that are still too difficult or too far fetched. Every child develops in his own way. One child simply learns to cycle faster than another child.
Yep, there he is again. Positive parenting also has to do with rules. If there is clarity about the rules in your home, you make sure that your child knows where he or she stands. That makes your child feel safe. Here too, the rules must of course be realistic and suit your toddler, preschooler or adolescent.
Whether or not you are consciously engaged in positive parenting, consistency remains important. Don't fall for every little problem, you only have yourself with that, but make sure that the rules that are known are also 'observed'.
An important aspect of positive parenting is that you listen to your child. Above we already talked about the sincere attention you can give. But apart from that, listening to your child's feelings is also very important. Make sure your child knows and feels that his or her feelings are allowed to be there. Angry, sad or scared? Do not downplay the feelings, but discuss it with your child.
In the context of the above point I have made a nice poem for you:
Very carefully
I take a small step
A step into your world
A world of new discoveries
Urge to learn
Urge to play
Urge to smell and taste
Urge to make
And use your whole imagination with this
The mistakes we see
Are the most beautiful moments in your eyes
You wanted to discover
you wanted to learn
you wanted to feel
you wanted to smell
Very carefully
I take a small step
A step into your world
And may you be as you are
May you develop and grow
Can you learn to see and taste
Can you fall and get up again
Very carefully
That one small step
Because you can be there
