As a parent, we would prefer to tell our children that the world is a perfect place. And it seems that way, when you're still tiny. We try to keep our kids in that beautiful delusion for as long as possible. We tell them fairy tales. And that a gentleman will come in December who will for-no-reason piles of presents. But sooner or later they find out that there is a lot of misery in the world. And they see on the Jeugdjournaal that even grown-ups sometimes have quarrels. Talking to children about war:how do you approach it? And maybe also a question you ask yourself:why would you?
First, it may be natural for your children to ask you questions about what is happening in the world. They are also getting more and more of it, including through social media, but also at school. What do you explain? Moreover, you might sometimes go to Liberation Day as a family, with the kids. A great way to teach them about freedom and war.
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Some topics are loaded. How do you talk to your child about death? How do you explain to them that grown-ups sometimes get divorced? And how do you explain to them about the new child in the class who has fled Syria? Talking to children about war is not something the midwife taught you.
We often don't even understand adult problems. So how can we explain them to our children? They probably won't ask questions about Brexit (thank God). But they do hear that the Turks are invading Syria. Even if they never get anything from the news. Turkey, where you may have celebrated a nice family holiday. Then 'the war' suddenly comes a lot closer. At least for the feeling of many children. And before you know it, you'll be talking to your kids about war. That sounds heavy (and it is), but perhaps it is necessary. Why? You can read that below.
You can try to shield your children from all the trouble on our planet. But that won't be easy! Besides, it's better to talk about it together than to leave them with questions they get through snatches of news. Talking to children about war is important for several reasons.
Whether they ask you directly or not, children have questions. Also about the news. And they may get more of that these days than you as a parent think. Secretly, our children are already quite worldly wise. Very well, until suddenly the news she reaches is no longer about the most popular YouTuber of today, but real world problems.
Talking to children about war can answer their questions. Not only does that give them a more complete picture of the situation, but it also lessens their fears. Of course you don't have to go into detail. But you can reassure them. And that is perhaps your most important task as a parent.
If you choose not to talk to children about war (or all other misery in the world) you are actually mainly protecting them temporarily. Sooner or later, your child will also find out that it is not all roses and moonshine. But as long as things are not discussed and your child is left with questions, it creates a feeling of fear rather than a safe feeling in children. No matter how difficult topics are, try to make them negotiable. And in the case of talking to children about war, that is very important for another reason.
There are fewer and fewer grandfathers and grandmothers who have experienced 'the war'. As a result, peace and living in freedom also become something that we increasingly take for granted. Just ask a lot of people in the world:it isn't. If we can teach our children that – even though fortunately we have never experienced a war ourselves – then we are already taking a step in the right direction. Because if there's one thing we can teach our kids, it might be that the gunless fight for freedom actually goes on forever.
Here in North Brabant we celebrated the 75th anniversary of liberation. But in higher parts of the Netherlands there are still many festivities to come! Celebrate that freedom with your children, and above all give them all the explanation they want. Because talking to children about war is also a lesson in what freedom means. If all children around the world learn that lesson, the world will be a lot better off.
