Sexuality is, as we know, a fluid and constantly evolving concept. Certain "categories" no longer exist when others remain largely unknown, as is the case with demisexuality.
Demisexuals feel sexual attraction for a person only after learning to know her . In other words, they need a strong emotional connection to be established before considering having a carnal relationship. This identity was designated in 2008 by the Network for Asexuality Education and Visibility , but it has only recently begun to gain recognition thanks to the growing number of individuals who describe themselves as being demisexual.
How do you know if you are affected? Many ignorant demisexuals think they are particularly demanding when it comes to choosing a partner, and interactions that include courtship sometimes make them feel uncomfortable, as one Reddit user explains. “I kept myself apart and gave up being sociable for fear of being the object of romantic or sexual pressure from others. […] When someone showed interest in me, anxiety took hold of me, which made it difficult for me to date or flirt with anyone when that happened ”.
Be careful though, demisexuality does not mean that the person has a low libido. The subtlety is not at the level of the practice of sex itself, but at the level of sexual attraction. Another 23.5-year-old demisexual social media user shares a telling anecdote:"When I was younger, my friends often talked about the good looks of celebrities, and I just didn't understand how anyone could being attracted to someone you've never met » . She also says she despises the culture of the “one night stand” and specifies that she cannot conceive of being able to “kiss a person she met 5 minutes before”.
It is about taking the time to get to know an individual, until you are sure that they appreciate and value us. This sexual orientation is more broadly defined as being halfway between asexuality and sexuality, which explains why certain demisexuals do not feel in them a sexual energy as developed as in others. The young woman concludes:“When I feel attracted, it is after having met or having made sure that he/she considers me for my intelligence or any other trait of my personality ". That's useful to know!
