When one of the partners disappears, the elderly often become lonely. Taking care of themselves may also become more difficult, and even something they sometimes don't feel like doing. When you have sat at the dinner table with the two of you for 50 years, the fun is gone for many people when you suddenly find yourself alone behind your plate of food. That was the reason my parents decided to take my grandmother into their home. It has greatly enriched the last years of her life, and ours, for that matter.
But taking your parents into your home is no small feat. Even though you still have such a good relationship with grandpa and grandma, this is a bit different than having a cup of coffee together. And apart from the relational atmosphere, your house must also be 'senior-proof'. You can read more about this in this blog.
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Your parents have always taken care of you when you needed them. What could be better than being able to do the same for them in return? Once they took care of you, and now you get the chance to take care of your father or mother.
But make no mistake:you have to have a really good click with your (in-law) parents to all live together in one house! The government wants nothing more than for us all to take our parents into our homes en masse, but in many cases that would quickly turn into a horror scenario. Yet it is no more than normal in many countries.
If you do have a very good, strong bond with your parents/in-laws and the space, then it is a very nice way to take care of them. Children also often find it very pleasant that grandparents are so close by. Are you considering taking your parents home? Then you will find a number of tips in this blog to make that process run as smoothly as possible.
Are you going to take your parents home? Then there are actually 2 factors that are important. First, how are you going to do it together? Does grandpa or grandma come to dinner every day, or do they want to maintain more independence? It is very important that you make clear agreements about this. On the one hand you want to involve them in everything, on the other hand you don't want to patronize too much. And they remain your parents, so you don't feel like patronizing yourself either! For example, what do you think of the grandparents getting involved in the upbringing of the children? Have a good conversation about your expectations together.
Involve the children in this as well. Does grandpa or grandma like it when the children walk in at all times? Or do they not want to be disturbed during an afternoon nap, for example? Make sure everyone is on the same page and that everyone is aware of your agreements. But then we are not there yet… After all, some practical matters also need to be arranged.
If you are going to take your parents into your home, it is also very important that your house is senior-proof. Maybe your parents/in-laws are still able to walk, but keep in mind that that won't always be the case. Provide a single-storey house, in which they can use a rollator if necessary. If there is no other option, a stairlift can also offer a solution.
Your sanitary facilities are probably not quite suitable for grandpa or grandma yet. Provide a high toilet, from which you can get up more easily. Grab bars at the shower or bath are also recommended. When showering becomes more difficult, you can purchase a shower chair. In fact, these are often things that you do not realize yourself yet, but such a handle to get up is actually indispensable.
Does grandpa or grandma ride a scooter? Provide wide passageways so that they can move around easily in the house. The kitchen can also be adapted to this.
Furthermore, your agreements are mainly decisive for any adjustments to the home. For example, does grandpa or grandma like to have their own kitchen? For example, to be able to make coffee in their own living area when they have a card evening? And to what extent do you actually provide a separate living area? That is of course up to you - and the space in your house is probably the limiting factor.
The most important thing when you are going to take your parents into your home:enjoy each other. Several generations in one house is not only educational but, if all goes well, also very pleasant! Make sure that both grandpa or grandma and the rest of the family members can also isolate themselves. Because you will undoubtedly need that from time to time!
If there is informal care when taking your parents into your home, it is very wise to inquire in advance about the consequences of this. Not only in practical terms, the necessary adjustments may need to be made, but there may also be financial consequences. Think of:
In any case, be well informed at all times before you decide to take your parents into your home as a caregiver. You will find a handy step-by-step plan on Mantelzorg.nl.
