I know Bianca 'from the past', we have been colleagues for a number of years. We have now both been able to follow our hearts. Me in blogging and Bianca with her pediatrics coaching practice. Not long ago, after years together -on my couch- we were talking about our children. And about children in general. About how they are not seen at school. About how they should all fit into the same pattern. About talents that are not tested. About how you get left out if you don't fit into that pattern. About grief. And about despair. Not only for parents, but also for children. Young children. Because they don't have a 'fit'.
I admire Bianca for what she does. For how she guides her own and other children into the future and secretly I am a bit jealous. I think she is not only a top woman, but also a very beautiful mother. I am very proud that Bianca wants to share her knowledge with us. She kicks off…
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I'm in a tiny house. With my three sons. May holidays and some time to be together.
For them in a different environment and without the Play Station. For me with some books that just keep on the pile. For us to make beautiful memories together again.
Suddenly it rains and hails outside. My eldest son stands up, his large adolescent body stands in the open door. “Mom, it always smells so good.”
I look at him with a smile. I recognize the smell and the feeling. “It's like the world is taking a shower.” he says with a wise look. He takes an extra sniff.
I swallow my mother's grief for a moment....
This kind of wisdom is not tested in school.
Read also: raising relaxed
My oldest son is almost 15. Highly sensitive, wise, humorous and very social. But everything goes wrong at school † After a good primary school and CITO to the Havo. From 2 years of “survival” at Havo to Vmbo-T. There he remains now… and he is not the only one….. it has been happening for decades.
Who doesn't know them? The boys who used to be unable to find their way at school? Who have found great jobs after school in their own way!
What is happening at this age? What is expected of them? What's going on around him? What kind of waiting room was he in in primary school? In a class with 34 children. But I know it one day it will bloom, in his way. I have every confidence in that and that applies to more children. Children who also come into my children's coaching practice. They have talents that are not tested, but they have talent!
Wise, sensitive and temperamental children. With a small heart, but a strong will. We have conversations where I sometimes forget their ages. I see a small physical body in front of me, but I have conversations that many grown-ups can learn from.
From their outlook on life. Their life questions. Their caring do-gooder plan.
Their creative pool and slide design. Their beautiful view of reactions from people around them. Talents that are not tested…
Read also: primary school report; how do you want to see your child score?
“Should” is an allergic word. Not at your own pace…. Too slow or too fast…. It doesn't work nicely. And have to score well in all areas. Focus on your tricky subjects. Mainly language and math oriented. We adults don't need that. May more choose our talent and pace.
See if you have your day or not.
Feeling, willpower, caring, creativity, guts, self-knowledge, communication and leadership.
There are so many subjects and qualities that are not tested for. Children who are guided through a funnel for years, while it does not fit.
Children who are already on Ritalin from 7 years old, because they are so present. While I proudly watch videos of his steering talent on a boat, his creative view of nature and his videos with all the jokes!
Children with qualities that will make them go far. Being authentic, wanting to mean something, humor, creativity, movement and energy! So many qualities with which you can bring beautiful things into this world. And so many children who "survive" in all the must and expectations.
You'll get there boy your way! I have every confidence in your qualities and character. Ultimately, that is above grades and diplomas.
Image used via Shutterstock
