A breakup is one of the most painful ordeals in life; it is indeed a mourning in its own right (He is there, he is not there anymore) with its process that takes us through denial, anger, fear, sadness and resignation; so many feelings that only time heals.
CORN ! There are techniques which, if not miraculous, can speed healing. This is indeed what the conclusions of a study carried out by researchers from the University of Missouri-St. Louis. A team of scientists who, to do this, turned to 24 participants aged 20 to 37 and in the midst of heartache; all had in common to have known a long relationship of 2.5 years on average.
The latter, who for the purposes of this study, therefore passed three tests.
The first test called “negative reassessment” consisted of uttering unflattering words against his ex.
The second, dubbed “reevaluation of romantic feelings” , was based him on the acceptance of the feelings felt for the ex-partner, without judgment, by reading with conviction quotes such as "It is not abnormal to love someone with whom I am not with more as a couple ”.
The third and last test was finally that of distraction, that is to say, to think of positive things that are not related to the ex.
After which, the scientists gave them a questionnaire on their feelings and then showed them photos of their ex, taking care to measure the intensity of their emotions through an electroencephalogram. So what?
The results showed that these three tests significantly reduced the emotional reactions of broken hearts when confronted with photos of their lost love; especially during “unwanted” encounters, in real life but also on social networks when an unexpected photo appears in the news or when the profile of your ex appears on Tinder.
Note thatthe steps that have really paid off are negative re-evaluation and distraction. The first indeed made it possible to reduce the intensity of romantic feelings although it made the participants feel guilty, and the second made them feel happier.
The author of the study Sandra Langeslag thus explained to the site The Independent :“Distraction is a form of avoidance, whose effectiveness in reducing healing time has already been proven ". She also praises the merits of "love regulation “, a phenomenon that uses “behavioral and cognitive strategies to influence the intensity of romantic feelings ". “To change [one's feelings] in the long term, you have to regulate them regularly concludes the scientist. Ok, so we're going to regulate!
