Couples therapy is sometimes a solution to overcome tensions. Because this psychological follow-up is a recent method, even a trend, many seniors do not think of embarking on this adventure. Yet at any age, this may be the solution. What is couples therapy? Why start one? When to make an appointment? Here's everything you need to know about it.
A couples therapy takes place like an individual therapy except that the patients come with their partner. With the help of a psychologist, each part of the couple dwells on the bond that unites them and that has altered over time or following an event. Couples therapy allows dialogue and listening to the other. everyone can express themselves and above all explain what is wrong from their point of view. It is not uncommon for the people followed to recognize their share of responsibility and see their partner differently following couple therapy. If successful, this therapy gives rise to a strong and lasting re-engagement.
There is no good reason to do couples therapy, there are as many reasons as there are couples! However, there is one condition:you have to want to save your couple. The therapy is recommended at any age, it is particularly suitable for seniors. Indeed, once retired or when the children leave the nest, daily life can be more and more tense. It is during this period of one's life that one realizes that one has aged. We lose our parents, we welcome grandchildren… In short, we change generations. For many this period is difficult to live and it is possible that the couple suffers from it. However, it is also this couple that can allow you to be happy! We live longer as a couple and we age better too.
There are tensions in your relationship and you are wondering whether to undertake couples therapy. Know that professionals advise to start therapy as soon as possible. It is indeed easier to deal with a delicate situation when it has just arisen. If the tensions have lasted too long, or if one of the two partners has faded away in the conflict and ruminated for years, it will take longer to find a balance.
The first step in couples therapy is to find the professional, choose the shrink, who will follow you. You will have to make a first choice:a man or a woman. Rest assured, you will face professionals who will not side with one side or the other. Age can also be a selection criterion, but once again, it will not impact your follow-up. The ideal is to find a person who offers couples therapy. And yes ! This is not the case for all psychologists. Also be aware that depending on where you live, you may have difficulty finding a practitioner. You will therefore have to trust the professional who will be available!
The first date is very important. It is done in pairs and allows you to take stock of the situation. It is not uncommon for this first meeting to already be beneficial because the couple expresses themselves with more freedom. He verbalizes tensions and begins to understand the origin of tensions or discomfort.
On this first date, don't try to get the practitioner on your side by pointing out your partner's flaws. You have to show respect and humility. It is also important not to put all the blame on the other. You came together to try to save your marriage!
Talking, expressing yourself, verbalizing... This is the basis of therapy. However, as you have come as a couple, you must also listen to each other and try to understand them. You may not have realized that your attitude could be hurtful. Speaking and listening are two habits you may have lost over time. We must resume the dialogue. This is the primary goal of therapy.
During your couples therapy, you may have to face your responsibilities. You have to accept them. Once you identify what is wrong with your attitude, you can bounce back. Working on yourself is essential! For example, a woman may realize that she left her husband because raising the children was a priority or because she devoted too much time to her career. A man on the other hand may have favored personal activities such as hunting or football over spending time with family. Learning from your mistakes is ideal for making a fresh start.
With or without couples therapy, it is important to recognize that we are getting old, that we are wrong or that we have made a mistake. Dialogue is also essential. Retirement is a new episode in life that takes place without the children, in the intimacy of the couple. You have to enjoy life and your couple but also know how to separate for certain activities. For everything to go well, remember to maintain a social bond, go on vacation or weekends and discover new things.
Couples therapy can be a failure. In this case, you have to try your luck again with another practitioner who will offer different methods. If the separation is inevitable, know that it does not mark the end of your life. It is quite possible to get back into a relationship even in the fall of your life!
