Warning:this article is not rocket science. Its sole purpose is to guide you, reassure you, identify you and perhaps make you open your eyes.
A few months ago you had a crush . Of those who are rare, a little unexpected, at the bend of a street. Since then, you have been exchanging text messages at a frantic pace, day and night. Your crush responds to your stories, sends you little words during the day. Frankly, for the moment, there is not a downside . And that makes you happy. You started to share some personal information during long exchanges, you find yourself at the restaurant and his smile catches up with yours. In short, it's a bit gnan gnan, but just enough, and that, you love it and you have decided to let yourself be carried away. Until all the time spent together makes you wonder about the nature of your relationship. What do I represent for this person who has taken up space in my daily life ? What does she expect from me, but also what do I expect from her? So many questions that can remain unanswered for long weeks, as broaching the subject can be tricky for both parties. So, couple, not couple ?
First, let's agree on the notion of couple . Here is the literal definition of the term, from Larousse:“Persons united by marriage , bound by a PACS or cohabiting" . Good. Surely this was to be taken into account a few years ago, but in 2021 this definition is totally outdated . On the other hand, if we take the third sense that the dictionary gives to the couple, it's a safe bet that many will recognize each other:“Two peopleanimated by the same feeling , of the same will, or that interests, affinities, characters bring together" . That works. But that was without counting on the complexity of relationships in 2021 , in the era of dating sites where it is totally possible to shop for guys or girls. It was without counting on the society that allowed us to emancipate ourselves from what we had to feel, what we had to do to have a stable life . Indeed, women and men more or less agree on the notion of non-commitment that hovers above our heads. And if this notion can be good, it can raise questions that lead to nameless headaches.
The most complicated in relationships is to establish a foundation . Even more, to feel entitled to establish them. What place do I occupy in his daily life to have the freedom to impose limits and rules on my possible future half? ? Logically, you shouldn't ask yourself the question. You should understand that this place is legitimate from the moment your crush created it for you in his life. It is nonetheless frustrating to have no answers and to harbor anxieties from the past , torturing his mind with sometimes irrational questions . It's not because your last crushes hated the notion of commitment, that it will be the same for this one. And that is a fact. But as long as you don't tryto decode , listen to your head or talk to him about it, you will never know. Just remember the concept of “couple” is not the same for everyone. Define what a couple is FOR YOU , to start. And agree with this notion. Don't let the person in front of you fool you. This concept is absolutely specific to each person. The key is to manage to make these different notions cohabit for a perfect harmony. For example, many people don't think it's important to apply the label "couple" to their history but consider it very important to retain the notion of exclusivity .
As a result, when writing, we surveyed the people around us. What is engaging according to them ? Which leads them to understand that the couple is in construction phase ? So many questions that we have tried to answer to bring you a semblance of answers. Things to consider when you're starting a relationship and you're not sure which direction you're going.
