For most of us, death is scary. This is of course also the case for your grandchildren. Death is a subject that is not easy to talk about with them, while they ask themselves a lot of questions about it, and that is quite normal. Depending on their age, but also their cultural or spiritual environment, the important thing is to approach death with sincerity, frankness, without taboos, an existential question as much for your grandchildren as for adults.
Even very young, death is a subject that appeals to children, because death is part of the cycle of life. It is normal that this subject arouses their curiosity. Asking questions about death is even quite healthy for a child, it shows they are trying to understand the world they live in and because children are always eager to learn no matter what.
All grandparents have, one day or another, been confronted with questions from their grandchildren such as "why do we die?", "what happens when we die?", "where are you going when you're dead?", "are you going to die?", and many other legitimate questions.
If your grandchildren are very small, kindergarten age or earlier, death doesn't mean much yet. Most often, for them it is a kind of prolonged sleep or a state that does not last, their knowledge of the human body and its functioning is not precise enough to understand that death is synonymous with death. cessation of vital functions. Your young grandchildren also usually think that only old people can die.
It's a little older, around the age of 9/10, once they have started to learn, especially at school, how the body works, that your little children have a little clearer idea of what death represents and that they realize that they are concerned in the same way as adults.
Your grandchildren then realize that death is indeed the end of a cycle for humans and that it is inevitable, that nobody can do anything about it, even you the grandparents in whom they have enormous confidence and also great love. However, around the age of 10/11, but sometimes earlier for some, even if your grandchildren have understood that death means that the body no longer functions, they nevertheless still believe that the deceased person continues to live. 'another way she can still think, for example.
For grandparents, as for parents for that matter, death very often remains a taboo subject. Because we ourselves are not necessarily "at peace" with this subject, and because we are afraid to approach this difficult subject which necessarily affects us too.
Talking about death to your grandchildren does not follow rules or principles that are the same for everyone. It all depends on your beliefs, traditions, etc., in short, on the cultural or spiritual environment in which you and your grandchildren live. Those, for example, who believe there is an afterlife will speak to their grandchildren about it in different terms than grandparents who do not hold this belief.
But generally speaking, it is easily recognized that one should not hide the subject of death from one's grandchildren, that it is not good to ignore the questions they can ask you. On the contrary, it is necessary to be open and to let your grandchildren express themselves on this subject.
As with many other topics related to life in general, talking and talking are the best ways to broach the subject of death, especially with your grandchildren.
On the other hand, it is not a question of talking about death with your grandchildren as you would with an adult. It is important to adapt your speech first to the age of your grandchildren, but also to their types of questions. Too many details, precisions, technical elements on death, on the reality and future of the body of a deceased for example, can unnecessarily worry your grandchildren who are not ready to receive your explanations in these terms.
This is why choosing the right words to talk about death with your grandchildren is very important. In any case, you have to be sincere and honest. Saying, for example, as many of us tend to do, that a deceased person is asleep or gone, risks making your grandchildren think they are going to come back or wake up… It is very important to tell your grandchildren, with your words and according to their reactions and their age, that death is a state that lasts.
A good solution to talk about death with your grandchildren, especially the little ones, can be to take the example of the nature they see around them. Explain that, like humans, flowers, plants, insects, etc., live and die with the seasons. The growing and falling leaves are very good examples especially to explain what the course of life is. The death of their pet can also be a good opportunity to talk about this subject and say that humans are affected in the same way. Taking your grandchildren to put flowers on the grave of a loved one can also be an opportunity to talk about death with your grandchildren.
Death remains a mystery to everyone and it is important for your grandchildren to know that even adults, especially older ones, do not have answers to many questions they may have about death and that they are in the same situation as them and that this subject can worry them too.
Talking about death to your grandchildren should always be a matter of sincerity. Saying that it is normal to be sad and unhappy when a loved one dies reinforces the child's feelings and understands that his anxiety in the face of such a situation is completely normal, that he is not the only one to feel it.
Also, wanting to hide important things about death from your grandchildren is doing them a disservice. On the contrary, children feel the emotions of those around them and their imagination in front of unspoken things can provoke in them evocations which can in some cases mark them for life, frighten them and worry them for nothing.
If you have trouble finding the words to talk to your grandchildren about death, you can, in particular, help yourself with very well-written books on the subject which answer many questions children have about death.
