Funerals are a painful moment for the loved ones left behind, especially since they invoke a whole prosaic logistics, which must however be taken care of - in order on the one hand to offer a suitable departure to the deceased, to on the other hand to help those he leaves behind to turn the page. One of the obligatory passages of this funeral waltz is the moment of the speeches. Touching moment par excellence, it allows to gather in the emotion around the loved one, and to allow those who remain to turn peacefully towards the future.
However, it is not easy for everyone to write. Both writing and the ability to hold an audience are talents that need to be worked on, and we are not all equally endowed in this area. And even the most brilliant writer can face a blank slate when it comes to tackling such a personal subject, intimidated by the pressure of wanting to pay commensurate homage to that person. Because without seeking to boast of the talents of André Malraux speaking on the occasion of the transfer of the ashes of Jean Moulin to the Pantheon, everyone naturally wishes to pay a last appropriate and touching tribute to their loved one. In addition, if it is always difficult to mourn, a beautiful speech can contribute to it, for the speaker as for his audience. So if you feel you need a little help, here are some tips to keep in mind while writing your funeral oration.
A funeral speech may be given by a family member, sometimes by a close friend. This is usually planned in advance so that the funeral goes off without a hitch and does not suffer from lengths. In some cases, a master of ceremonies - a professional, a religious or a close family member - can also be responsible for this organization, in order to free the loved ones of the deceased from this burden and the stress that accompanies it, in an already difficult time. He can also give your speech on the day of the ceremony, if you feel that the task is going to be too difficult. In any case, it is welcome to communicate your text to the person in charge of the organization in advance, so as not to suffocate the funeral under the number of speakers and the length of the speeches.
On this subject, a succinct text is generally more striking and touching than long and painful complaints. This does not make the task any easier, far from it! The whole difficulty lies in managing to distill in a concise text all the complexity of the feelings and the tissue of memories associated with the dead. Whether you are having difficulty, or because too many speakers wish to speak, it is possible to write and pronounce this text with several people. A sibling or a group of friends, for example, can choose to hold a speech together. It also makes it less daunting for anyone who might already be intimidated by public expression.
A good way to do this is to make a plan. Define the main axes of your speech, for example a memory in particular that you would like to share, or a reflection that the deceased evokes for you. Do not waste time, start quickly, so as not to panic if you should find yourself faced with the blank page. It is normal to struggle to find the right words for the occasion. Gather your salient ideas, and allow yourself time to come back to them later, once your head is rested and your ideas clearer.
If inspiration is desired, you can always find it in the great authors who, human like the others and therefore also subject to the same mortuary tasks and painful events, were brought by the circumstances of life to submit to the exercise, often brilliantly. In this case, simply do not forget to underline your borrowing by mentioning the original source. You can also seek your inspiration from an author to whom the deceased had affection.
In general, try to ensure that the theme of your tribute matches the personality of the person who died. It will be fashionable to make religious references if it was a pious person; for someone known as a teaser, a lighter, laughable speech will not be out of place; and so on.
If the occasion is formal, your tone doesn't have to be. Write as if you were addressing a loved one to whom you are praising the deceased. Adopting a conversational tone makes it possible to avoid the pitfall of pompous and bombastic speech which can on the one hand sound flat if the talents of writing and oratory do not follow, on the other hand weigh down and make more morose than it does. is already the occasion.
Without turning into a stand-up act, do not hesitate to make your audience smile, by recalling moments spent with the deceased, or some of their characteristics and habits. Laughter doesn't argue with grief, and it shouldn't be seen as an affront to lighten the situation with funny words, let alone if it happens to fit the personality of the person being celebrated. . The important thing is to keep the tone appropriate, but common sense should easily take care of that.
Of course, the tone to adopt also depends largely on your audience. In general, keep in mind the composition of it. It will guide both his tone and the content of the speech. Because depending on the circumstances, the assembly can be restricted or on the contrary agglomerate a crowd partly not so close to the deceased. Avoid obscure references that will only move a few insiders also in the confidence. That being said, telling an anecdote featuring your deceased loved one and yourself is a good way to remember their qualities, while personalizing your speech. Just make it clear to everyone in the audience.
In this regard, always remember that you are speaking to the living. Socially, the funeral serves the role of mourning support for those who remain. It is therefore a question of evoking positive feelings, inclined to allow us to turn the page and face the future with a lighter heart. It is best to end on a positive note. As difficult as the grief is, life goes on.
Finally, remember that in writing, and even more so when it comes to intimacy, there are no fixed rules. These tips are not to be taken literally, far from it. The important thing is to follow your heart. Trust your instincts:if your speech sounds right to you, it will probably sound right to your audience.
