Friends come and friends go. Why can't some people always be friends and what is true friendship anyway? What does it mean and what does it ask of you?
These days, vague acquaintances are already called friends, but let's face it, not everyone who is called friends on my facebook page are actually friends to me. I know them from school, vacation, going out or got to know them while practicing my hobbies. Your social network is so easy to expand via the internet, but you can rarely call it real friendships. Can you really speak of a real friendship if, for example, you never hang out with each other?
Of course, what you mean by true friendship is different for everyone, but we will all often expect the same from each other. Think of honesty, even when the truth is difficult. To support, trust, being yourself but of course also to fun!
I can count my real friends on one hand. And that is quite normal, I discovered this week. Editie NL did research and found out that a person only has room in his head for 150 other people. This also includes family, colleagues and acquaintances.
It also appears that on average you tell three real friends your whole life and love, which in turn includes your partner. Is that right for you?
It also appears that a newcomer is less likely to be accepted as a friend. The newcomer is more likely to indicate that they have you as a friend, but this is less likely to be the case for each other. That's nice then, I thought. We moved three years ago and if I speak for myself I do have the idea that new friendships have blossomed, whether that is mutual, I can now ask myself 😉 .
But as good as the contact is, I know all too well that friends come and friends go. When I had whole groups with whom I went out in my teens, I hardly speak to anyone about them anymore. Not that something happened or that we broke up badly, it just happened that way, everyone went in a different direction.
A different school, a new love with corresponding other friendships, new interests or just the grown-up become. All reasons that can change a friendship.
Around me I see the eternal singles and people with a family, people who are absorbed in their hobby and people who travel far. It's all good as long as you're happy in what you do and who you are. Do what makes you feel good, and not what others expect of you or what you would like to belong to.
It makes sense that some friendships are lost. That you are so absorbed in your own busy life, because apparently we are all busy. And that you attract people who are largely in the same boat, that's not strange either, that creates a bond.
I too am immersed in life as a mother, hang out more with other mothers that I have met and with whom I can talk about everything when it comes to the children. But we also have plenty to talk about, because you experience the same thing in many areas. I can understand that my childless girlfriends prefer to talk about the festival here and that handsome boy there, and for me it's great to get away from mommy and party along.
And no I'm not good at maintaining friendships and yes I sometimes forget an important date. But my real friends know who I am, that I don't mean it that way and that I love them despite that. And as far as I'm concerned, that's true friendship.
When we see each other it's good, we laugh, dance, chat, eat and are there for each other. Always.
