There are very few topics that husband and I can't agree on. Actually, there are only two when I think about it that closely. My husband is a physicist and believes in all that is proven and I also believe that there is something more than just the proven theory of the origin of man. But I don't want to go that deep today, especially not because the latter is not a topic of conversation in our house, we just accept that we think differently. What is a topic of discussion is taking out funeral insurance. Hubby thinks it's nonsense and doesn't want to take out funeral insurance, but I do like it.
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Anyway, as mentioned, this is a topic that regularly comes up on our table. In fact… we have had a funeral insurance 'in the past', but canceled it again! The difference of opinion on this subject lies in the approach to its pros and cons, I think.
When you're young, don't worry at all. Whether or not to take out funeral insurance, you are not at all concerned with that yet. But as you get older and you get a family, there are more times when you think about things that you hadn't thought about before. A few examples of things I now think about more than before:
These are questions that pop up in my head every now and then, triggered by, among other things, the death of my mother.
Three and a half years ago, my mother passed away, after we and the family assisted and cared for her intensively for a year. Last week we 'celebrated' her birthday with my father and a good week later he and mom would have been married for 60 years. Or have they been married for 60 years… no idea what you call this if one of them has passed away. Well, I digress. Due to the death of my mother, I experienced very closely what it must be like when you lose your partner.
Just last week I was talking to a neighbor a few doors down. Her husband passed away a month ago and she told me that 'missing a partner is at least 10x worse than missing your father or mother'. That sounds harsh for those who -just like me- have to miss their father or mother, but I understand her. As a son or daughter - in addition to all the sadness you have - your own family also continues. As a partner, your whole world comes to a standstill.
Just imagine that the person you've been with for years suddenly disappears. In the case of my parents it was 60+ (not that they were living together before they got married, but of course they had been dating for a while or something 😉 ). We have yet to achieve that! But one thing is certain… you will find yourself in a situation that we are fortunate to not be able to imagine.
Now my father had 4 children that he could fall back on, but that is different in every family. And what if your child is unable to help for whatever reason? Then a lot will come at you.
So that's exactly the question that husband and I can't figure out. He has the feeling that you are taking out funeral insurance because, for example, you do not have financial capacity. But that question doesn't even come up for me.
Very simply put. We are in the fortunate circumstance that we can save. And that there is financial scope to pay for a funeral when the time comes. Now there are plenty of people who are not in that happy circumstance. In that case, I think it would be really nice if you have funeral insurance, so that you know that it will no longer cause any headaches.
In our case, that's not a statement I can make. But I don't really want that either, because for me the discussion isn't about that at all. I have seen how a good funeral director can unburden. And that seems to me -certainly in case you lose your partner- almost a necessity. I remember as if it were yesterday what is involved in arranging a funeral. And that was in a situation that was 'covered' by a funeral insurance.
And I know very well how you feel. It seems as if you are in some kind of daze for several weeks. With a head that is completely full of nothing. And with that head you have to make all kinds of decisions. As I said, we did that with the whole family. And then you have a lot of support from each other and you will figure it out. But what if you don't have that support?
I never really consciously thought about it, but involuntarily I now have an even stronger opinion about it than before. Because you don't know what the future will bring you. But if you can ensure that your future becomes a little easier, whether financially or in some other way, then I think that's a nice idea.
Enjoying it now is very nice, but later also being able to enjoy it -or have fewer worries- that is at least as important as far as I'm concerned. Nowadays there are all kinds of ways to design funeral insurance. Monuta has made a nice collection of these, in which all possibilities are listed. Not sure yet which choice would be best for you? Or if you have never thought about 'what if', you can walk through their funeral design. This way you can get an idea of the possibilities and the associated costs. For example, you can take out funeral insurance, or not… but then based on knowledge, and not just on feeling.
Image used via Shutterstock
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