Much has already been written about the corona virus, so maybe you are already done with it. But I still want to get this out. After having felt the consequences of the virus in our own household during this first week, I must say something from the heart:that position 'I' of the adolescent brain... grrrr.
Table of contents
Let me state that I love my teenager dearly. From his lanky body to his near-adult jokes; I can really appreciate it all. And usually things go reasonably well, so our mutual contact and the first days this week were no problem at all. As I described in my blog that went viral, we are also a bit of letting go and getting used to learning at home during this virus. Not everything is immediately tight in a schedule, but try to build up a little bit of structure.
I don't think the kids have anything to complain about in that regard. But now it comes…
We are strict with regard to all advice and questions from the government to limit social contact to a minimum. At least stricter than a lot of parents of boyfriends and girlfriends. To give an example:several of Lotte's friends still 'just' meet up. We do not agree with this and have therefore indicated in our house that we do not want that. Not because I'm afraid we'll pick up the virus (in fact, we've already had a weekend with fever and cough, so who knows, we might already have had it), but because we just want to take a stand in this crisis. You take care of each other by making sure you keep social contacts to a minimum. That is why we have put our own social contacts completely on hold.
The above is of course difficult for children if others do their thing. This is especially difficult for teenagers. He received the invitation to chill out with 5 friends this weekend. Super nice of course, but we don't support this. His adolescent brain comes up with all kinds of arguments why he thinks this is possible. Sentences like 'there are no elderly people' to 'do you think one of my friends has corona or something' are flying around us. Did I think we had explained to him the seriousness of this virus in the past few days? His adolescent brain has brushed aside all our explanations, examples and arguments. Whatever I do or say, he cannot be relented. He sits on the couch sulking with a silent, straight face.
And I get him. At this age, socializing with your friends is of course important. You want to fit in and you can't if you're left out because your parents have stupid ideas about the situation that threatens the whole world. Because, pffff, that the virus is spreading all over the world does not mean that he and his friends will suffer from it. Not a single argument from us is accepted, his adolescent brain is in position 'I' and will remain in it for a while I'm afraid.
I've already suggested that they just skype or something like that, but that's not an option of course, you get that. Other digital assets are also being swept away. Anyone have another idea? And rather not come up with 'let that boy go' 😉 , because that point of view does not change. We do not work in the vital professions and this is one of the ways in which we can help ensure that the Netherlands can deal with this virus well. I would like to maintain that.
ps… I'm already desperate to start this book, who knows, maybe it will help me on my way. Although I have to say that when I open it I get a bit discouraged. What a big pill, full of small letters and so a lot of information 🙁 . Anyway, who knows, maybe I'll learn to understand my adolescent better and that's worth something. Who of you already knows this book?
Stay safe everyone xxx
