After the well-considered decision not to enter an IVF process, we are now in the middle of the procedure for foster care. Extremely exciting, but with one clear goal in mind:finally being able to mother!
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The most exciting part of the foster care procedure is the first home visit. At that moment I feel very insecure because our house is not that big and, moreover, a renovation is visibly needed. And what do they think of us? Fortunately, the two of the foster care service quickly reassure us when they come to us. They want to see that we have a spare bedroom where the baby can sleep. A cot is already available. They are also convinced that something beautiful can be made of our house. Good luck!
A lot of questions are thrown at us during the foster care procedure, but they really do make us feel like we can be honest. Our great wish to have children, which is not being fulfilled, can also be expressed. As long as we realize that this can also make us vulnerable in the foster care adventure.
After this extensive fire of questions, we had 2 more conversations at the foster care service and then we are ready to start the training evenings together with other candidate foster parents.
Those evenings are really very instructive. They make us reflect on the grief of the children. For us it will be a happy event when the child finally comes to us, but for that child it is a bit different… he has just been snatched from his familiar environment. We also learn about attachment problems. These are common in foster children, just as in adopted children. And what can we expect about the contact arrangements with the biological parents? All food for thought. After all, we decide for ourselves how far we want to go with this.
And then we have to wait and see whether they actually find us suitable as foster parents or not. We've already heard that candidates have already been rejected, so we're not entirely confident. We are expected at the foster care service on October 22, a day before my birthday. I've been nauseous all morning from the tension, all sorts of things are going through my head. Once there, we are asked whether we want all the explanations first or the verdict first. “Come on, I really can't wait any longer,” I replied.
“You are perfect for us as foster parents, congratulations!”
I've always thought I would burst into tears when I hear these words during this foster care procedure, but I remain surprisingly calm. We are still going through what our 'wishes' are. We are on the list for a baby from 0 to 12 months who will be staying with us for a longer period of time. “Now quickly go home and tell them that there is going to be a family expansion,” they say. Bert and I say goodbye with relief and walk outside to the car. Even before I have the handle on the door, it happens:I burst into tears… what a joy and relief at the same time! Finally the time has come, soon there will really be a baby in that cot!
We immediately drive to my mother-in-law, who is anxiously waiting for us. It is an emotional moment, all the stress of recent times is coming out. Now she can also tell that the family is going to grow a bit. The next question now is:When? How long do we have to wait for that call? We're not too concerned about that just yet. Now it's time to finally tell everyone what we've been up to lately. Everyone is enthusiastic and lives in suspense with us to that moment when we hear that there is a baby for us.
Shutterstock photo by Elena Srubina
