Fears spoil life, especially in a couple, because they distort the relationship, create misunderstandings, oppositions...
One of the most common in romantic relationships is the fear of losing love. We fear that the other will stop loving us, or even worse...:that he will start to love another!
As often, from childhood, from that moment when our mother started to take care of us a little less either because she was tired, or had less time. The fear of abandonment then began to germinate unconsciously because we knew that we could not survive without this adult, and this fear is now ready to reactivate itself each time our lover shows a little distance...
Those who experienced the fear of abandonment more strongly than others in childhood often become "abandonners", that is, they are often afraid of being abandoned.
We are hypersensitive, anxious, demanding, we constantly ask for proof of love... but also, we watch for signs of falling out of love. In short, we can become annoying (both for ourselves and for the other), and without even realizing it...
It is very important to tell ourselves this:we have become adults, we are no longer fragile and helpless children, our life is no longer at stake if we are abandoned. Today, 1 / we will survive, 2 / we can act!
Let's also become more rational! If our darling shows less love, it may simply be that he is in a phase of fatigue... He has THE RIGHT not to always be on top!
And of course, you have to try to go back to childhood situations, those that gave rise to this fear (even the most innocuous situations)... Identifying them helps you to say to yourself when the pattern (re)presents itself:"I I remember this hurt but I am no longer weak, I do not transpose this old fear because I am now an adult and I can take care of myself, I do not depend on the other, my life does not depend on the love of the other but of me and of the love that I give to myself. “Normally, already, things are going a little better…
