The story of the love affair that didn't work is precisely the kind of story that everyone has to tell. And always, the same question that comes up:"Why?" ". If we find ourselves full of reasons, we often forget this one:most of us certainly want to be in love, but are afraid to let ourselves become one. This fear brings out our defenses, and manifests itself at different stages of a relationship… Three common reasons.
When we meet someone, we enter unknown territory and we let them explore ours, we trust them, we let ourselves be touched (literally and figuratively). This is a big challenge sent to our "defenses", fed on the idea that we must maintain self-control. Because our self, used to being self-sufficient and self-centered (or cozy in a comfortable but unfulfilling relationship), then fears being forgotten and cries out, "Resist." By loving too much, our self is also afraid of suffering too much.
We are not very aware of it, but each new relationship is marked by the past, from our relationship with our parents to our last exes. The wounds we have suffered greatly influence our behavior in the face of nascent love, will we open up or close… If this new intimacy stirs up old feelings of abandonment, rejection… we leave it so sometimes without giving him time to offer us anything else. But those who run away without ever resolving their old demons end up dragging them from relationship to relationship.
Sometimes love is uneven. We can have the feeling that the other loves us too much and we then fear to get involved with it, we feel guilty for not feeling exactly the same thing. Or we have the unpleasant sensation of being the one who loves more. Yet romantic feelings evolve, adjust, it takes time and that's normal. Leaving someone too quickly because he loves us more or less than us, prevents us from really knowing him, prevents us from letting the relationship evolve towards a love that could, who knows, make us happy...
Also read:
Love or friendship ? "The Amoutié Scale" answers your questions
New guy:why we get carried away too quickly (and how to take it easy)
Sex:these good reasons to sleep again with your ex
