The flowers and the bees. Suddenly we have entered a completely different era. Last week I was watching television. There is an advertisement of a well-known diaper brand with very sweet babies. I want to say to my little girl of 5 years, look how sweet and see that she sits with her hands over her eyes. I ask her why she is doing this. Now she says, “I find those commercials a bit scary, some are covered in blood and have that slime on them, I think that's gross”.
Not really that strange in itself and I tell her that that's just how it should be when you're just born. She then asks me in amazement, “did I have that too”? Yes, you had this too.
And immediately there are all kinds of questions. How is this possible and where do I end up and how did I get into your belly?
Read also: sex education is coming
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I've probably made it harder on myself now than it needs to be. But I was so speechless for a while. I looked at her father, but he didn't hear it (or didn't want to hear it and I started to stammer. That I thought her too small for that now and would come back to it later. She was satisfied with this, but for how much longer?
This morning her question came back to me and I went online. It turns out that this is indeed the 'normal' age for her to ask about this. There are also different stories going around. One of them is that mommies and daddies make love to each other and that this goes beyond cuddling with each other. Then daddy puts his pee in mama's pee, because they like that. Then daddy will like it even more and seeds come out of his pee, which swim to the eggs in mom's belly and so a baby comes.
what? Sorry, but I can't do anything with this. I think this is such a worthless story, that child can never look at a pee normally again? And why the word pee-pee? Of course there are books in the library that contain other stories. But how do I find the right one and when is it really the right time for that, also for myself actually??
Maybe it's not about when she's ready, but when I'm ready 😉 ?
And how am I supposed to tell a 5 year old that the baby is coming out of her pee, that's an alien story isn't it? At least, that's what I can imagine. And I actually don't want to tell her anything about peepers that go in her pee or babies that come out of her pee...
Read also: your child asks questions about sex
I'm not exactly a prude, and I wasn't raised to be a prude. My parents talk openly about sex and it was often talked about. I also know that I received good education, both about where babies came from and later about puberty and my period.
But to have to tell this to my 5-year-old myself now, I find quite a bit. I think she will grow up so quickly. I also don't think it would be nice for school if she knows how it works and someone else might not. I know how toddlers are, when they know something new, they don't know how quickly to share this news with the rest. Our girl is in group 2, but this is a combined class with group 1. I can imagine that those parents are not eager for my daughter to give their children sex education.
Would you like some help with the story about the flowers and the bees to make sex education a little easier? Numerous books have been written about it. Below you will find the books that have received very good reviews in the ages of 4 to 12 years.
In short, I find it difficult to talk about the flowers and the bees and her father, if possible, even more difficult. For now she was still satisfied with the 'that will come later' solution, but for how long?
