It is clear that communication and conversation with adolescents requires a different approach than 'before' when my little one still liked everything about me. Don't do it is the statement that comes to me the most these days from his mouth. The conversation with my adolescent is at the level of eye rolls, sighs and 'Don't do it' or 'Stop it again'. Other than that, we're totally fine together, that's for sure 😉 .
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It's quite diverse, the communication with my adolescent -if you want to call it communication. First, you have to get them off their phone first. And then we go from eye-rolling to a verbal 'don't do it' and from sighing to the shame on the cheeks and a dare-it-don't look. For the sake of convenience, I also include the latter in my communication with my adolescent. After all, it somewhat reflects what he thinks of my behaviour, doesn't it?
When Adolescent reports with a chuckle that he has been asked by another student whether they 'have already had the lesson with the briefcase', I raise one eyebrow. “What's in that briefcase?” I ask. And before I wait for his answer, I yell 'Oh, definitely a banana with a condom so they can show you how that works'.
Belly-shaking with laughter, he yells 'No, just a dildo to show all that'. Satisfied with his open mind and the fact that he wants to talk about this, I blurt out 'John, but I also have that upstairs in the nightstand, I can show you that too'.
You understand… his belly-shaking laughter turns into bright red cheeks and he stammers 'Whoa, stop again, don't do it' 😛 .
There is (once again) an intermission. Since this time there are even two in a row, the teenage son takes his friends home. They have spent their money at the local supermarket and are now kicking a ball in the garden. When I ask if I will kick some balls, I get a 'Don't do it' from my son in combination with a don't risk it.
In the past, the question to play football would come up several times a day!
Admittedly ... when I was a child myself, it may not have made me very happy when my mother and father did a waltz in the room. But that twerking of mine is of course very funny. In addition, my hips are nice and loose so that dancing is fine. I think then.
Unfortunately, the Adolescent thinks differently about this:'Mom, don't do it anymore, it doesn't look like it!'
On the road together. The music blasts from the speakers and yes .. that is the music that my teenager and his sweet sister play. Coincidentally - modern as we are - that is still our music. Without embarrassment I open my throat to play a nice game. Delicious! Until I look back at my son. Don't do it says his look.
Of course we love each other. A lot in fact. But to think that an adolescent still wants a smack on his mouth… uhhh… no. Unfortunately, we have now passed that stage, as can be seen from the chin that I am offered when he is in bed at night. YES, he still wants to be covered and a kiss. But his chin says NO, don't put it on my mouth 😉 .
All the above examples are of the communication with an adolescent who is of course in a phase that we know is not the easiest. But when even 8-year-old daughter yells 'don't do it' when I ask her if I will play school upstairs with her and her friend… well…
