A bond between mother and child is one of the strongest there is. You love your little one dearly and he (or she) loves you too. That's probably why he doesn't want you to leave him for even a moment. But you are so looking forward to a night away from home with your partner. How do you handle this if your child does not want to be home alone with the babysitter? Right! Getting used to the babysitter, just as much as getting used to the daycare or primary school.
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Step by step, that's how you do it!
Your child clearly finds it very exciting that you are leaving and he is left alone with someone who is not his mom or dad. It is important that you gradually make sure that your babysitter becomes a trusted person. You do this by starting very small and gradually letting the babysitter do a little more.
So we start very small, especially if the nanny is brand new. Invite her a few times to just come and have tea alone, for example on the weekend when you are home too. Your babysitter will become a familiar face with your little one. Suggest that they play a game together or go to the playground. Also explain from the start that this is the babysitter but that she is now just coming to play a game. This way your child does not have to worry yet, but it will already become clear to him that the babysitter is not just a friend. This makes getting used to the babysitter a little easier.
Children often attach great value to a few attributes such as a piece of cloth or a cuddly toy. Ask your babysitter in advance if he/she wants to ask if your child wants to show his favorite cuddly toy. Maybe he would like to give her a tour of the house? You gradually take a step back. That way, your child will also get to know the nanny better while you are still there and he can take a bit of the lead in the introduction process.
The next step is to very carefully leave your child alone with the sitter. For example, say you have to go to work and cut yourself off from them for a while. Sit in another room with the door ajar or closed. Explain clearly to your child that you will not be available for a while, but that the babysitter has all the attention for him. This way you are still in the area but he will still have to go to the babysitter if he wants something. The beginning of really getting used to the babysitter.
The next time the babysitter comes, do some shopping in between. Try to be away for an hour so that your child is alone with the babysitter, but that you come back quickly. This is a good test to see if your child is ready to spend a little longer alone with the babysitter. Was this just a little too ambitious? Then take a step back.
Then leave your child and the babysitter alone for a few hours or part of the day. Now let the babysitter fill in the activities himself. Ask her if she wants to keep you informed via WhatsApp, for example. Do not go too far away from home immediately in case your child still finds it too difficult. You can then be home quickly.
Is this all right? Ask your sitter to stay overnight when your child has to go to bed to do the nighttime routine together. Let the babysitter help your child with brushing his teeth and also have her read a story. Can you get used to the babysitter with the evening routine? Then you are well on your way!
If everything went well until now and you have faith that it will also go well in the evening and at night, you can have that well-deserved romantic night out with your partner. Again, ask the babysitter to keep you informed.
Did this all go well? Top! Then everything will be fine between you, your child and the babysitter.
The most important thing in this process is communication. With your child and with the nanny. Let the babysitter clearly know what you expect from her, what the current situation is and how you want to solve it. She must of course be ready for this. But it is also important if you have to have a difficult conversation with the babysitter. Communication is key.
With your child it is important to be honest and also to tell him where he stands, how long you will be away, that the babysitter is coming and that everything is fine of course!
