Who can boast of never arguing with his half? Not many people, we put our hand to cut. Both hands, even. And besides, it doesn't matter. It's even quite healthy to have disagreements. It proves that you are still in tune with yourself and therefore have not become a two-in-one version of you and your partner. The problem lies more in how to manage the argument than the reason for the argument. Some couples have managed to find their balance. An unshakeable balance. For others, the character of one can take over and cause very embarrassing situations. which you should do without when you are in an established relationship.
You argued. The dishes were not done. You searched his phone . In short, the tone has risen and you are disagree . And now your partner is sulking on his side. The pout is angry. Arms are crossed and he acts as if you are not in the same room as him. Their separate ways. And let it be said:it is impossible that this does not leave you with a bitter taste. This way of ignoring his partner after an argument is therefore called the "stonewalling" . And according to a study by John Gottman , American psychologist, this bad habit could have tragic consequences on your relationship, such as separation or divorce.
After an argument there are two kinds of people:those who want to fix everything right away and those who prefer to let a little time pass in order to regain their senses. In a couple, it is generally the same. And the one who practices "stonewalling » hurts his partner, especially if he tries to resolve the conflict . As you try to communicate, your partner rolls his eyes, avoids your gaze, and doesn't deign to answer your questions. immature behavior but which indicates a difficulty in managing his emotions .
According to the Gottman Institute, 85% of people who do this are men . On the other hand, this attitude does not necessarily result from a passive-aggressive temperament. On the contrary, it can be a person who does not like conflict and who is so understandable that he does not talk about it anymore in order to let the tornado pass.
In any case, according to the results of the study, this lack of dialogue leads to separation . If you are the person who practices stonewalling », try to do some work on yourself and get it into your head that communicationPouruqoin serves your relationship much more than silence. If you are the one who suffers from this attitude, make your partner understand that it is high time to change the way you operate.
