Family conflict is as inevitable as it is emotionally draining. Are you tired of hearing your toddlers bickering all day long? Yet, if handled well, these arguments can even help build you as a family member. Here are the good ideas to remember to manage conflicts at home.
Why do we argue?
If you are tired of crises at home, know that they are inevitable and even participate in the development of the personality. The child, by coming into conflict with you or his brother/sister, asserts himself, seeks the limits not to be exceeded and takes his place within the family, then, by extension, in society. Where there is danger is when a conflict remains unresolved, especially if it is recurrent. But then, what to do?
How to manage a crisis?
Step 1:React Quickly
If you feel a storm is coming, react as quickly as possible. This will prevent tensions from building up and becoming overly important. Keep conflicting kids away while waiting for the right time to talk. Indeed, the context in which the discussion will take place is decisive for a good resolution of the conflict. So choose the perfect time to start a dialogue, when everyone involved is calm and likely to cooperate.
Step 2:Define the conflict in turns
Whether you yourself are involved in the argument or not, it is up to you, the parent, to take the reins and guide the children to a solution. So ask the following questions, listening to everyone's point of view without interrupting:
To keep things running smoothly, stick to the current topic:one conflict at a time. If other issues are raised, let them know that they will be resolved later.
Tip to capture the attention of toddlers
Dealing with conflicts through dialogue may not be suitable for the little ones. Use puppets to reenact the conflict in front of your toddlers:this is a solution to capture their attention and facilitate their understanding.
Step 3:Find a solution together
Make way for a good brainstorming session! Take out the whiteboard and markers if necessary. Ask the children to come up with an idea to solve the current problem, one at a time. The rules to follow:
The idea is to reach a consensus that will bring good humor back to the house.
Step 4:Establish an action plan
Determine the solutions to be implemented and the roles of each. In addition, ask your loved ones to write down the difficulties experienced in a notebook and to find alternative solutions. Finally, plan a specific date to take stock of the actions taken (3 weeks seems to be a good compromise).
Our ideas for avoiding family conflict
Emphasize good behavior
Benevolent parenting, do you know? This consists, among other things, of positively emphasizing your child's good behavior in a specific context. He took the initiative to clear the table? Congratulate him. Has your teenager tidied up his room? Tell him how proud you are of him. Your child will see that you also notice when he does something good.
Implement house rules
Be careful, it is not a question of installing a totalitarian regime at home. For this system to work, involve the children in defining the rules. You will maximize the chances that they will respect them. Indeed, a child who is listened to and respected is more inclined to cooperate.
Distracting
If you feel the tension is mounting, suggest games that will help manage conflict at home. Pretend, for example, that you are world champion in an unexpected and fun discipline (throwing socks in the laundry basket, etc.) and announce loud and clear that no one can beat you. The children will then be diverted from their argument and gang up on you, the adult. Obviously, you will pretend to lose so as not to see the tensions reappear.
Parent/child conflicts:how to react?
Rather than punishing out of anger, take time to calm down. If necessary, change rooms and inhale deeply. Then, try to establish a dialogue during which everyone will express their feelings and try to find solutions to defuse the crisis. This peaceful resolution remains a much more child-friendly solution.
And to prevent conflicts between you and your children from becoming the common lot at home, schedule time with each of your children. Indeed, it is important that each of them feels that they are fully part of the family. It can be a bedtime story, one-on-one shopping, an afternoon at the salon or even a bike ride.
To manage conflicts at home, bring out the heavy artillery:dialogue and humor. Nothing better to play down the situation and defuse the crisis. And in the event of a deep and lasting crisis, consult your doctor so that he can offer you solutions.
