You can make new friends at any point in your life, but there are certain times when new friendships are more likely to be made. Henk Westbroek sang with Charity a long time ago that as a child he had a friend with whom he did everything. Once you draw the conclusion, friendship is an illusion. Friendship is a dream. A package of scrap, with a thin layer of chrome. Until that friend moved. After one card, the friendship was over. Out of sight, out of mind, in this case. And indeed. Friendships come and friendships go. But some friendships last forever.
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The meaning of friendship, according to Wikipedia, is “a close (generally non-sexual) relationship or relationship between two or more people in which gender is not an issue. Friends help each other and are more accepting of each other than other relationships. That which one does for each other as friends is also called friendship.”
I can relate to this explanation of friendship. You don't need many friends either. One good friend is actually enough. Now I am blessed with some very good friends. For me, a good friend is someone with whom I have built an unconditional bond. This tire can take a beating. A friend is there for you, in good and bad times. You can laugh with each other and cry with each other. You support each other at funerals or laugh together on friends weekend. What is your definition of friendship?
Most of my friends I've had for a long time. Although I have lost some friends during my life, but also made new ones. Now that I look at it this way, you can make new friends and roughly divide them into the phases of your life. At each stage, in my case, new friends come in and sometimes they drop out. It's hard to do that, but sometimes it's just done. Curious what kind of friendships there are according to my experience? Read on and feel free to add.
Making new friends in your toddlerhood. I don't remember much about these friendships. These are mostly arranged friendships. With the children of my mother's friends. History repeats, because my children were also dragged to the playground when they were young. Here they had to play with my friends' children. This gave our mothers time to chat.
Here you decide who your friends are. Playdates and new friends are made in the schoolyard. In the younger years, these friendships change weekly. The girlfriend with the prettiest barbies is doing well, but when the weather is nice, the boyfriend with the trampoline in the garden is my best buddy. Making new friends? No problem. With age, choice becomes more selective and friendships more stable. Some primary school friendships last a lifetime.
Your world suddenly becomes very big. Your parents don't know the parents of your new besties anymore and that's a relief. Making new friends is exciting for yourself, but it is also very exciting for mothers. Get away from mother's wings and make your own choices.
Are you still in your familiar (residential) environment in secondary school or secondary education? When you go to study, often in another city, you step into a whole new world. You meet so many new people. You join a student association, year club or fraternity. If you are going to make new friends during this time, these are "fellow sufferers" with whom you make a friendship for life.
These are the friends you can always call before a night out. They stand in front of the mirror with you every week. “What are you wearing? Aren't you wearing that glittery top? Can I borrow this then?” We get drinks for each other and tip each other when nice types come in. Together you make great memories that you will never forget!
After you have shared rooms, boyfriends, parties and heartbreak with your girlfriends, at some point you get stuck with a nice love partner. With a little luck. Your sweetheart's friend group also becomes your friend group and this is also an opportunity to make new friends. Your existing friendships may be put to the test. Suddenly you have to divide your time. Between friendship and love. That takes getting used to. For everyone. But real friends give each other space and accept that this is part of it. But ladies, never neglect your friendships!
After studying, another friendship may be added. The one with colleagues. Believe me, I'm really not friends with all my colleagues. Still, a friendship at work is ideal. Nice to be able to confide in a colleague. About your home situation, about your other friendships. And how wonderful it is to make new friends and to chat about other colleagues with this colleague while enjoying a snack and drink. Not always neat, but hey, I'm just human too.
Pregnant? Then you look for fellow sufferers. Because gosh, so much is happening. With your body and with your hormones. You are going to swim, exercise or do yoga, especially for pregnant women. By looking forward to such a special event together, you build a bond. Making new friends is so easy. And if there is a real click, as I have experienced, then that friendship continues. Because your children are about the same age, many things in life are synchronized. It is very nice to talk about this together. Exchange advice or have a nice time complaining together.
Another great opportunity to make new friends. A new phase begins when your children start primary school. They make new friends themselves. Sometimes we get along very well with the parents of those children. If your child wants to go to the petting zoo, but you don't feel like it, it is very nice if his or her boyfriend also goes with the mother. Shared sorrow is half sorrow. These contacts can result in a wonderful friendship between complete families!
Exercising together creates a bond. Unless you're not sporty, just like me 😉 . But you can still make sports friendships. For example, a nice friendship can arise between a number of hockey mothers, or in any other sport. After all, you defy wind and weather together every week to encourage your star player.
And then finally. The most important. The BBF! Best Friend Forever. She is a common thread in different phases of your life. This girlfriend is always there, everywhere. Even when she's not there, she's there for you. You share everything with each other. One look is enough. You and your BFF have been through so much. You will be the first to know about each other's new clothing purchases, but also who your new sweetheart is. In addition, you are each other's best man at the wedding (unless you are not married yet) and she is one of the first to call you after you give birth.
You can be opposites and not see each other every week. That does not matter. You know this is forever.
Most of the friendships I've had from those different stages are still in my life. They all have one thing in common:these friends were there for me when I needed them. And vice versa. At shitty moments, at intensely sad events and at beautiful milestones in my life. Oh yeah …. they all like a glass of wine too!
You draw the conclusion once. Friendship is not an illusion. It's a package of gold, with a thick layer of shine!
