I find it difficult to restrict freedom. I think it's wonderful to have more freedom now that the children are getting older. My greatest wish has always been:to have children. And, I am very happy that this wish came true. I am so proud of my three daughters and… actually I am quite proud of how I am doing as a mother. I do my very best to do the best I can for my three girls. And I get so much from them in return:lots of hugs, kisses and kind words. And how I thoroughly enjoy looking at their sweet faces, to see them happily skipping and playing. But I also have to be honest and confess that I don't just like it. Every parent will probably have that, something that children in the house give you or something that they take from you. I find restriction of freedom the most difficult…
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When I didn't have children yet, I was often told the following sentence:'Enjoy it (while you still can).' That naturally referred to my free life in which I could do everything I wanted. I understood what they meant, but I didn't really understand that. You really only realize that when you have had children yourself and more freedom is on a wish list.
Then suddenly, when you go out for a while, you have to tune into your baby's sleep/wake, eat/drink, poo/pee schedule. Suddenly you can't just go when you feel like it. And you can no longer go at your own (fast) pace. No, it suddenly takes forever before you go out the door, equipped with a bag full of things necessary to provide your child with all the comforts. Well, a parent doesn't bring that convenience at all!
With the arrival of the second (and third), things get even more complicated. Not only will your freedom outside the home be restricted, your freedom in your own home will also be reduced. You suddenly have to plan when you are going to take a simple shower. And how about putting on make-up? It soon turns out that the only right time for this is very early in the morning (before the kids are awake). Well, nice then, that means never sleeping in again on your day off… You can no longer read a book, no, even a magazine is no longer possible in the presence of children. There is always one that you need or they make too much noise. Even if you withdraw to the toilet for a while, you will not get any rest… Just sitting around and doing nothing is almost impossible with young children in your house. Every simple activity has become a 'job'. In addition, you want to spend every free moment that you do have at home well. You will tidy up, clean and (continuously) do laundry…
What I miss the most is traveling (preferably to distant tropical places). That really gave me an intense feeling of freedom:Go wherever and whenever you want. Do what you feel like. Enjoy everything around you… the peace, the people and nature. That really only works without young children around you!
But… there is progress! Every day I feel a little freer (and happier!). I enjoy every little thing that I can do again or that my kids can do on their own. Every little piece that gives me more freedom. I can once again leave my children alone in a room or on a floor. I can take a shower again while my kids are awake. I no longer have to help my children get dressed and undressed. My oldest even manages by herself in the shower and she already brushes her teeth. Sometimes I even manage to get to work while my kids are at home… And I've cleaned up the whole house this Christmas break while the kids were with me! Delicious!
Freedom, how beautiful that is! You realize that even more if you sometimes (or often) don't have it. Then you can enjoy it even more. Because now it is extra nice to go out alone without the children, to do fun things with friends or to sit on the couch in the evening (when the children are in bed) and do nothing. And in a few years' time... we will take the plane with the children and we will enjoy the enormous freedom that travel gives you together with them! And, by that time, both us and the children will get older!
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