'With four children we can call you an experience expert ,' is often said to me by mothers in the schoolyard. Well to be honest I wouldn't bet on that. I am anything but a primal mother. I'll admit it:I think I often consider myself too important for that. I like to give myself priority sometimes. When I've given too much again, I think:I, me and again ME! Loedermoeder is therefore more appropriate than primal mother.
I envy women who selflessly put everything aside for their offspring. I can't. At least not always. Moreover, I am not practical enough to be a primeval mother and I regularly find out too late that certain things still need to be arranged.
A motherfucker who only finds out after two months that the sneakers are long too small. Treat? Shit, totally forgot! Make it easy:bags of chips or ice cream. I only see that ice creams are not very useful in the summer when it is 34 degrees Celsius, when all the children are covered with melted ice up to their armpits.
So I have to watch with admiration how all those mothers are busy with their anything but simple, but above all creative treats. One even crazier than the other. They must have got up at night to finish twenty-six fruit pizzas, right?
Super fun of course, but I'm happy when my overcrowded weekly schedule is a thing of the past again.
Tonight there is goulash with beef on the menu, ’ I hear a mother say. That this dish has to simmer for eight hours (without a slow cooker) I hear from another mother, who probably also prepares this regularly. Love it ,' she says with satisfaction.
As a motherfucker I arrive again with my oven fries and that jar of Hak. Nice and easy if they don't like fresh peas and I don't feel the need to drink it after a working day – I really don't like this – I'm really not going to eat this to hear.
I find toddlers more difficult than teenagers. With adolescents you know that WiFi and their telephone are vital and the rest is secondary. If you ensure that these conditions are met, you will end up as a slug mother. You don't have to be a primal mother. And you can always threaten to take their phone. Success guaranteed.
But with Kleine Man it is a lot more difficult to threaten material things. An 'well not ’ answer comes rolling out of his mouth. But when it comes to sweets at Kleine Man, we get a very different kind of discussion. Then life suddenly becomes a lot more serious.
When I tell him as a punishment that he won't get chips on Saturday, a scrolling teenager yells indignantly from the couch:“No chips on Saturday? That is really child abuse!'
-x-
Ievy
Shutterstock photo of mother and child by Nomad_Soul
