Despite all our convictions , when you meet someone, you have stars in your eyes and it happens then that we magnify some huge red flags. Or just that we refuse to see them. But those who love us then become more aware of toxic behaviors and things to avoid in a relationship.
So when the fateful moment comes to introduce our new guy to our friends or our families, they can then tell us what we refuse to hear and steer us or force us to question our new perfect relationship. We wonder then:was this joke really funny or is my guy in fact… misogynist?
From an external point of view, it is easy to identify misogyny , but less when it affects us directly. It is usually men who are violent, whether by word or deed, who will demean women and be very hostile towards them. But there are several degrees of misogyny, and it can blind us to certain behaviors. But yes, it's unfair, his bosses really preferred to promote his colleague and not him… It's unfair, or he's just upset because she deserved it more and, unfortunately, she's a woman ?
It is quite simply a hatred of women, sometimes even unconscious. It is about a need to control women and to punish them when they do not fit the norms of patriarchy and refuse to meet the needs of men.
And people who are misogynistic – often men, but some women are too – are often misogynistic because of their background . Whether it's problems with their mother or a woman who hurt them during their childhood. It doesn't have to be a fear of abandonment because their mother actually abandoned them, sometimes it's just a parent who wasn't emotionally present , or in the most complicated and extreme cases of verbal or physical abuse, or passiveness in the face of abuse. Misogyny can also come from romantic wounds in the person's first relationship, whether it's a breakup, rejection, abandonment... But even if you're a shrink, it doesn't it's not your job to heal this person . That's what therapy is for, and if your guy is misogynist because of injuries in his past, you can help him choose a health professional on Doctolib, but the goal of your relationship is not to repair the other! If you're wondering if he's a misogynist, he definitely is... So here are the signs that your guy is misogynistic.
He very sincerely believes that women are objects visually pleasing whose role is to meet the needs of men. Beware of those who miss the task. He also gives marks to women, whether it's physical appearance or sexual performance. He criticizes and belittles women that he does not find attractive and will always comment on the bodies and looks of younger women.
Literally. He thinks women are trophies, prizes he adds to his collection. He must always be accompanied by a hot woman or he loses all self-confidence:he has no self-confidence and needs validation from other men. He also often changes partners and brags about it. The truth is, he's just scared to get close and create a relationship with someone, then he alternates not getting close to one in particular.
Whether it's his mother, his sister, his grandmother or whatever, not getting along with them does not necessarily make him a misogynist, but the fact that these relationships are conflicted and that nothing has been resolved can then turn into anger towards women , either in his romantic relationships or towards women in general.
This one is a little obvious, but already if he whistles at the women in the street or shouts at the first one who passes “beautiful ball doll!” » , yes, no doubts, he is a misogynist . He very sincerely believes that women need his approval to exist:but that's not a compliment, that's harassment. And even if it happens in the private sphere, none of the women he meets need his validation to go on living and thinking "wow I'm really too sexy" .
That's misogynistic behavior, and his lack of empathy and inability to understand why this "compliment" might be misunderstood shows that indeed women don't need his validation since he doesn't understand them. absolutely not. Pack your compliments, Don Juan, and go read Mona Chollet !
A good misogynist will try to control the way you dress, your hair, your makeup. In ahealthy relationship , your partner will give you their opinion on these things if you ask them, and if they don't, that's their right. If he is misogynistic, he will be able to send you away to change, remove your make-up, etc. It will also try to control other aspects of your life, whether it's your job, what you eat, your friends, what you do for fun, etc. The more he isolates you, the better he will manage to control you.
Yes, if something goes wrong in his life, it is most definitely your fault. He always tries to blame the women around him, and if you're together, then you'll be the first one he blames for his failures .
If he is not for equal pay or thinks that a woman makes a better secretary than a business manager, no doubt, he is a misogynist .
He thinks positions of power should be filled by men and is not comfortable with successful women. Even if he does not say it directly, he will feel more sure of himself if his partner earns less money than him, has fewer responsibilities in his job, in short, is less successful than him. For him, your success is a threat .
He's clearly paranoid and thinks women are bound to want something from him:his money, his freedom, his cum - check the hot sauce stocks at his place! He has already referred to women using demeaning terms, whether they are "whores" or "diamond diggers" and thinks marriage is a trap. If he's ever used those terms, we hope you've already fled, but better safe than sorry!
As mentioned above,no woman does not need the validation of Jean-Michel Misogyne to exist. Criticizing your body is just another way to put you down and therefore to control you better, my child. Whether your breasts aren't big enough, your waist isn't thin enough, your thighs are too big or your nose is too big, he may even suggest that you have cosmetic surgery.
This way of pointing out what he thinks is wrong with you is simply a way of showing you that you are just an object for him. All good for him too, if you hate yourself and your body, if you are ashamed of certain parts of you, then you will need his validation and his "love" all the more...
It's the kind of very fat discussions between guys, which have the particularity of being very heavy, sexist and commenting on all aspects of women. Whether it's treating them like objects, commenting on their sexual performance or even outright dehumanizing them in fact, it perpetuates rape culture and misogyny. And yes, a man can be a man, manly, whatever he wants, without having to belittle women.It's even much sexier , but that's just the opinion of most women!
For him, sex is necessarily penetrative and his needs take precedence over yours. He's afraid to show his emotions and won't try to form a bond with you, so he'll think he's a "good shot" without ever bothering to ask you what would make you happy. He thinks life is porn and will expect shouts and compliments and react badly if you reject it, when no one has ever been attracted to a jackhammer. You see Patrick Bates in American Psycho ? Here is. Without going to the extremes of the movie, if he pressures you to sleep with you, makes you feel guilty for not wanting to, or tries to manipulate you:that's a big no.
When a misogynist finally decides to engage in a monogamous relationship… Wellhe is not engaging in a monogamous relationship in fact, and will deceive his partner right to left. And since everything is your fault, he will justify himself by saying that it is because you refuse to do this or that, in short, he will find a way to blame you. In truth, he's just afraid of getting attached to someone and "losing his power" in the process. Yes, remember, women necessarily want something from him and are the enemy...
This psychological concept was invented by Sigmund Freud , not misogynist for a penny (if). Basically, he has a Manichean vision women. Either they are pure, like the Madonna, the Virgin, or they are whores. Except that with this kind of vision, men are then unable to have a fulfilling sex life with a woman they think is suitable as a wife (the Madonna). They will also be unable to see the women they have fun with in bed as serious suitors they might fall in love with. So that brings us back to the previous point, which makes misogynistic men unable to fall in love with someone they also have a great sex life with and "forces" them to cheat on their partners.
