How do you keep an eye out for each other? "Soon, when we have a child, we'll just keep doing our thing. Our child just has to go along with it. That's possible.', we thought 😉 . You too? We have now completely turned to the other extreme. We adapt our lives almost completely to our children. And what does this do to our relationship? Oh yes, relationship, we still have one! How do you keep your relationship good if your primary concern is actually with the children?
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Do you recognize this? If you go to a city, you park the car as close to the center as possible. You choose one or two stores in advance where you really have to go. You walk through a market, eat something delicious and… then you go home again. Because your children are fed up.
Are you going to the beach or the forest for a day? Then you don't take long walks. No, you walk a short distance and sit down (picnic). The children enjoy themselves there and then do not want to continue. Sure you sometimes walk a bit, but that doesn't always make them happy 😉 . So, yes, what do you do… then you would rather adapt your life to THEIR preferences…
Undoubtedly, the above is recognizable to many. Perhaps in a slightly different form, but the meaning is certainly the same. Because that's how it is with most. And yes… there are exceptions. Maybe you are one of them, but I swear to you… the chances are slim 😉 .
But then again, what's good for the kids isn't always good for you.
If I look at the above, then we do much less things that we actually prefer to do. Yes, if you take a break on your own, without children, you can do what you want again. With us this is usually with friends. We hardly ever do anything fun just the two of us. While that was really what we always loved to do. It's not for nothing that we chose each other as buddies for life. And every time we say to each other:'We should do something together again.'
In the six years that we have had children, we have taken a break together at most 25 times, of which only 3 times for a weekend away. And, every time it is a great success, we fully enjoy the peace, freedom and each other!
Read also: how do you bring romance back into your relationship
At all those other moments, when we are busy with the care, raising and cleaning up our children (which is also very nice!), we pay little attention to each other. Almost all attention goes to our beautiful children. Of course we want to give them everything that is needed to lead a healthy, happy, free and as carefree life as possible. Because we are completely on the same page:Our children come first! But, what does that do to us?
Us, just almost doesn't exist anymore 🙁 . Every time we resolve to do our best for each other. To take more time for each other in the evening, to listen to each other better, to keep talking to each other, to go out together more often. You probably recognize that too. And even though you know that this is an answer to the question 'how do you keep your relationship good', the problem is often that you are too tired or too stimulated for it because of all the hustle and bustle around you.
So how do you keep your relationship going when you're tired and agitated? We have noticed that paying attention to each other can also be done in a different (less strenuous) way. It's in much more than a good conversation and a night out. It's in the little things that give you the feeling that you matter, that you are known, seen and heard. Actually in those little things that every person needs, and therefore also in a relationship. Or maybe you are in a relationship.
Read also: improve your relationship in 45 minutes attention to each other, it is possible!
Examples of small attention moments that can boost your relationship in a short time:
These are all very small declarations of love, which are very important in this phase, when you have less time for each other. This is how you keep your relationship good! Make sure you get through it well together, so that when the children grow up and become more independent, you will still have a good relationship and can do many beautiful things. TOGETHER!
We go for it! You too? And if so, do you have any other tips for little love shows or anything else to keep your relationship good? What do you do to let your partner know that you are thinking of him or her?
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