Two blue check marks , a "seen" or a "read" . These are words and symbols unimportant and yet which test us much more than it should. But it's like that. In the era of Generation Z, we are glued to our phones, like a mussel to its rock. It has become almost inconceivable to leave your phone aside for more than an hour. And even if we have nothing to do with it, it is stronger than us. We unlock it, no messages , nothing. So we check our Instagram feed . Still nothing interesting. In short, we all abuse our phone and it gives it back to us rather badly. If we have become so addicted to these little gadgets it is also and above all because it allows permanent and instantaneous contact with our loved ones. The problem ? This quick contact very often brings out all our insecurities . Especially since it is easy to know if our message has been read. By the way, last night, you sent this message, which you took a little time to write and this morning, you see that the recipient has indeed "seen it" . What was your dismay? Well, you are not alone in this case. Indeed, according to the independent research and consulting firm Occurrence , 2 out of 3 people report suffering when they don't get a response. For 4 out of 5 people , the fact of not having an answer is necessarily something negative.
Well, then, we'll stop you right away, in (almost) the majority of cases, the non-response is not to be taken personally . Besides, you have certainly already been that person. The one who does not respond immediately. According to Malene Rydahl , speaker and specialist in the subject, there would be three main reasons for not answering immediately:a simple oversight, by lack time or because there is too much messages received. In addition, receiving messages and therefore having to respond to them could, for some people, increase the mental load . Then, if you ask a question, the person may not know how to answer you in the negative and therefore prefers to ignore the message (yes, that's cowardly).
If on your side you are totally able to answer in the second, tell yourself that it concerns you and does not make this way of reacting a norm . Everyone manages their phone as they can, as they want. This way of always wanting to be in communication with someone, to always want to send and receive messages has a name. This is mutual digital surveillance . A phenomenon that almost always leads to disappointment, frustration and even annoyance. Indeed, you expect answers and when these do not arrive (at the desired time and time), you will imagine the worst. You should not. And it is at this precise moment that it is the return of Spielberg. You make scenarios nonsense (most of the time) and you can't make up your mind anymore.
To get rid of this phenomenon , it's important to take a step back from the situation."Did my message deserve a response" ? Sometimes swapping for the sake of swapping is useless and if the discussion should end at that point, so be it. Instead of this habit of opening your phone every minutes to make sure the person still hasn't answered , take care. You have other things to do than look at a phone that currently has nothing to offer you. You will find out if you have an answer later. Also ask yourself if the person you messaged (yet unanswered) is the type to usually respond quickly. ? No ? So you have your answer. This does not, however, demonstrate a lack of interest.“At the slightest moment of boredom , in the street or even with other people, we take out the phone and start the conversation machine. We can send 5, 10, 15 messages and therefore avoid empty spaces. And that can become a form of addiction which does not necessarily bring much to our lives”, explains Malene Rydahl .
And when you are tempted to mope in your misunderstanding , give yourself a little slap (it never hurts anyone). You deserve better than to be on the lookout for a message (which, incidentally, can be disappointing). So go about your business. The virtual world is absolutely not a reflection of reality and even less a reflection of the feelings that these distant people may feel on the phone. And then, look at Allie and Noah, (Never forget) they managed to love each other madly, find each other every time and all that, without WhatsApp exchanges . Take it easy, take a deep breath and get the hang of it!
