Whether they found out by themselves or from you, discovering that Santa Claus does not exist can be a heartbreaking moment for children. So here are our tips to help them better understand the situation and enjoy the Christmas holidays!
From a certain age, usually around 6-8 years 1 , it seems necessary to tell children the truth about the "magic of Christmas". Why ? Firstly because they will be confronted with it by those around them (at school in particular). It is best that they learn the truth from their immediate family, so you can reassure them and explain the situation to them in detail. Secondly, because they become older, more critical on certain subjects, and talking to them about the "reality" of Christmas can help them mature or understand certain things. How to do ? For example, you can explain the legend of Santa Claus to them in the form of a story, and compare this story with other children's stories they believed in, but no longer believe (the little mouse, the bad wolf, etc.) . The children will thus be aware that it was a story, as they are often told when they are little, to entertain them. In any case, the important thing is not to rush the child, to reassure and support him.
Where does the legend of Santa Claus come from?
The story of Santa Claus is inspired by that of Saint Nicholas, a famous character in Christianity in Asia Minor around 300 AD. It is said that he used to distribute gifts gifts to children and was dressed in a coat and a beard. The cult of this saint was propagated in Europe in the 12th century, then in North America under the name of Santa Claus.
To give your child confidence, make him understand that you did not lie to him for the simple pleasure of telling him nonsense. On the contrary, it is important to justify your action and what you did it for, so that he does not feel betrayed or upset. For example, you can explain to him that you told the story of Santa Claus to create a magical legend around Christmas, make him dream and put stars in his eyes! That way, he won't feel like he's been taken for a "baby" or made fun of by making up an unwarranted lie.
Should you lie to children?
Addressing the subject of Santa Claus raises another question:should we lie to children? In the case of Santa Claus, it is a lie without gravity. Here, the idea is to make children dream with a magical legend, and not to hide from them a truth that they should know. Thus, we can consider that the parents are not at fault when they tell them this story because of the non-seriousness of this lie. So there is no need to blame yourself or think you have done wrong as a parent. Do you have questions about parenthood? Are you looking for psychological support? Think about Better Being Allo Santé, our daily assistance services.
To make children understand that it is not Santa Claus, but you who are in charge of buying gifts each year, you can show your children Christmas catalogs and the gift shelves in stores. You can also involve them in Christmas shopping for other family members. This will help them become aware of the value of a gift and the good intentions behind the act of giving. It is also an opportunity to talk to him about solidarity, sharing and giving, which are important values in the spirit of Christmas. For example, you can help him make a handmade gift to give to someone close to him or someone in need. Thus, you continue to bring the legend of Santa Claus to life with him!
Explaining the truth about Santa Claus to your child is usually done around 7 years old. This is a time when your child becomes aware of certain things and grows. However, this moment is not necessarily synonymous with disappointment for him. Especially if you continue, for example, to develop his imagination by telling him Christmas stories or if you include him in the preparations for family celebrations.
Sources:
1 – https://www.ledauphine.com/france-monde/2018/12/23/comment-%28bien%29-explication-a-son-enfant-que-le-pere-noel -does-not-exist
