This man is crazy about you. Yes, but that's not reciprocal. Telling him is not always easy, especially if you care about him. As a result, we often tap into the ultra-cliché, saying "I prefer that we stay friends" (even if it's totally true) or even the "I'm not ready" (which is often totally false ). To limit the damage and his fear of facing this moment, there are some tips.
1. Prevention. If you are close to a man you adore but with whom you do not want to go any further, you must avoid making him believe that a door is open on that side. And since men sometimes have a hard time distinguishing between "friendship" and "more than that," show her that it's very clear on your side by telling her about your friend or the guys you have in mind.
2. Take a step back. Keep in mind:you may be great, there are plenty of other girls on earth so he will get over it. You're going to tell him that you don't have romantic feelings for him, not that he's going to die tomorrow, huh!
3. Tell her you're touched. You're going to tell me he doesn't care since you're going to decline his advances. Not at all ! Failing to show that you care about what they said to you, on the other hand, would totally shut the door in their face by ignoring their feelings. If he will not have had your heart, at least he will tell himself that he has managed to reach it a little and therefore that he matters to you. And that, if you care about him, will do you both good.
4. Telling her it was brave to do that. Telling someone that you really appreciate them, even that you love them, is a bit like diving from the edge of a cliff:it takes guts. By sharing his feelings with you, he exposed himself by taking the risk of taking a big rake, all because he thought he might have a chance to be by your side. And that has a name:courage. So, by pointing out to him, we considerably reduce this moment of embarrassment for him (and therefore for us).
5. Tell her the truth. Avoid:"I'm not ready." If it does not always ring false, it leaves hope in these men who will perhaps continue to hope, in secret or not. "I'm not ready" is actually very often synonymous with "you're not the right one", because we are usually ready, deep down, for "the right one". If it doesn't work with him now, that often means it won't work with him at all. So be honest and just tell him that "for various reasons it won't work" with him.
6. Explain to her. That, we avoid if he does not ask us, because it can put us in a situation that is uncomfortable to say the least. But if he asks us the question, it is because he needs answers. The best thing is to explain your expectations to him and show him that they are not compatible with his, while avoiding saying too much and using diplomacy. And in addition, it may free you from a burden.
7. Not having a dramatic tone. Well, it's not a good time for him so we'll avoid making him feel more with a look full of pity, a hand behind his back that smells of charity or a tone that sounds like a symphony of violins . We show him that we think what he has done is courageous and we are firm, yes, but while keeping a few smiles, a slightly light tone or even a few jokes, just to lighten the atmosphere for him as for us. .
8. Don't ask him to stay friends. "But we can stay friends, if you want!" This sentence is a big stab in a wound. Honestly, who wants to hear that phrase that automatically makes the person feel like a big ugly ugly ("ha ok, you want us to be close but not so close. Is it because I'm ugly? "). And then already that you have broken a heart, you are not going to ask too much of it! So you explain to this man that you understand that he needs time and to walk away, if he wishes. And for us, it also takes a lot of pressure off us.
