Hahaha, just that first sentence of the research and press release triggers me. Women give from feeling, men want to be considered attentive. Uh, okay, so men don't want to be attentive, but to be considered attentive 😉 .
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Reminds me of something I happened to see on TV yesterday. An older man said he was so very happy with his wife. His wife was a motherly type, and he really likes that his food is ready on time. That his clothes are ironed. That he gets coffee. In short… that he is well cared for.
But he said 'We take good care of each other!'. When asked by the presenter what he did for his wife, he said after thinking 'I give them a flower every now and then'.
Nice, don't you think? Until he gets up to show the flower. He pulls one small limp flower off the fireplace in a tiny vase. “I plucked him from the garden, but oh well… it's about the gesture… Right?”
Well, then you can sweep me up! A textbook example of not being attentive, but wanting to be considered attentive 😉 .
Anyway, we continue with the investigation…
The Dutch like to order online, but preferably thank someone in person, do you recognize that too?
Chocolate manufacturer Merci researched the habits of giving thanks, giving a present and the feeling when receiving it. Our supermarket will prove that towards the end of the school year that Merci has really been put on the market as a thank you.
I am one of those mothers who suddenly thinks at the very last moment… oh yes, a thank you teacher gift, that is also necessary. Then of course there is no time left to think of or make anything else and I always end up at the chocolate shelves in the local supermarket. In vain, yes. Because apparently I'm not the only mother who suddenly wants to be thoughtful with a thank you and finds an empty spot as standard.
The research shows that only 16% thanks with a gift. That's actually not that much. While a little something alone can give a very nice feeling to the recipient. In that case, being attentive not only brings pleasure to the recipient, but also to yourself. Because how nice is it when you see that the other is so happy with your little something?
We like to say thank you and often, 44% of Dutch adults say thank you five to ten times a day (or thanks, thank you or another variant). More than a third say this even more often than ten times a day. Sending a text or whatsapp to thank someone is just as common as the trusted pat on the back or hug.
When it comes to giving thanks with a gift, we thank others mainly for friendship and support, but also for everyday things. For example, thanking the people around you who are there for you when you need them (58%), thanking the neighbors if they take care of the mail, plants and/or pets during the holiday (47%) or if someone helped with moving or odd jobs (46%).
Less often we thank your child's teacher (7%), the class parent, reading father or lice mother (6%), the babysitter (6%) or the cleaner (5%).
Men want to be found attentive, the headline of this article screams. This is apparent from the part of the research below.
Giving a gift in person to thank someone feels good. 57% of the Dutch enjoy making someone else happy with a gift. It is striking that the recipient is central to women, they give a gift significantly more often than men because they want to make the other person feel good. For men, the giver is central. They give a present much more often than women to show the outside world that they are thoughtful.
The vast majority of Dutch people prefer to thank someone verbally (89%). Other popular ways are sending a text or WhatsApp (57%) or giving a kiss or hand (55%). 16% of the Dutch give or send a present, which I personally think is quite little.
The most popular thank you gift is a bouquet of flowers, followed by a personalized gift that matches someone's interest. Think of drinks, a gift card and chocolate. 82% of all Dutch people sometimes give chocolate to thank someone.
Also funny… the reason why we like to give a gift personally has to do with the fact that we want to see the reaction of the recipient when he/she receives the gift. I secretly think… that being attentive is ultimately also about wanting to be considered attentive. Otherwise the reaction wouldn't matter so much, right?
The research also shows that about 16% of the Dutch feel uncomfortable when they receive a gift as a thank you. I recognise that! So stupid. It's partly in our culture or upbringing or something. Just act normal, then you're already crazy enough. Something like that.
I also think that women differ from men in this regard. The research does not say anything about this, but I expect that women feel uncomfortable much more quickly when they receive a gift than men. Or am I wrong?
What do you prefer to give and receive as a present?
