Sex education is extremely important and at the same time very much feared by many parents. A book to help you on your way to giving your child sex education can offer a solution. Free license van Marina van der Wal and Bram Bakker promise that sex education has never been so easy.
Along with toilet training, sex education is high on the list of tasks a parent is not eager to do. Parents like to see a good end result (sitting on the toilet and dealing with sex with common sense) but the road to it is sometimes difficult and tiring. The idea that you have to run after your child with a potty and mop all the time before he realizes that he has to go to the big toilet discouraged me. But I managed to do it anyway, all children have become perfectly toilet trained, just a matter of perseverance. Now the next topic begins:sex education.
Table of Contents
In good spirits I start Free license with the expectation that I will be explained exactly how I can start “the conversation” and how I can teach/tell my children during “the conversation” what it should and should not be without making it uncomfortable for both parties. I'm (luckily) disappointed. The first chapters of the book indicate extensively that sex education is more than just 'the act' and 'the conversation'.
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With regard to sex education, is there still a role for parents nowadays, now that children learn everything via the Internet and/or school? Yes, Free license tells you that in a world where the basics are readily available, your task as a parent is all the greater. Children quickly know 'where Abraham gets the mustard', but knowledge about the mental and emotional development that goes with it is often still lacking.
You as a parent therefore have more than ever a task to guide and prepare your child before that time.
Free license is about guiding your child in such a way that she has enough knowledge or self-confidence at the 'suprême moment' to make her own choices. And to let your child know that if a wrong choice is made, you are there for them. It's called letting go. And this starts earlier than you think!
Are you interested in this book? You can find it here.
For someone who finds it difficult to let go, this remains difficult for me. But I now know that I can't hold them by the hand forever, no matter how nice that feeling is. That hand that clings to you for something to hold on to or your hand that is grabbed on its own initiative. Your ultimate goal should be that your children can live without you one day. Because let's face it, holding hands is good when they're little. As a young adult (or older), that quickly becomes a bit uncomfortable.
So, sex education is about letting go, just like Free license † Because everything that children have to do 'on a large scale', they will have to learn on a small scale. And that means that they learn to sense when they can feel safe and that they can also indicate when that is not the case. And literally gain experience through trial and error.
Okay, I'm learning to let go, am I ready for info about 'the conversation'? No, Free license It is also about setting a good example as a parent when it comes to romantic and casual relationships. And this starts with general relationships and not even romantic relationships. Just social interaction. If you let them experience socializing with other children as a child and teach them what works and what doesn't work in relatively harmless situations, your child will be ready later when the real work comes along.
Nurturing each other in a healthy way, setting a good example, giving your child self-confidence. That's what the first chapters are about. Confidence to say "no" too. The mantra 'stop it, I don't want it', is not used for nothing from an early age and is therefore very important. Learning not to be afraid to set boundaries.
Read also: Sex education to your child, how do you approach that?
Now I let go and set a good example throughout the day. Ready for 'the talk'? Still not. Almost!
As a young child you ask your parents all kinds of things out of curiosity all day long. It's the parents who may or may not find something embarrassing and sometimes talk around the hot mess. Your kids just don't care about this. Now you don't have to go into detail every time, luckily that too! It turns out that children remember exactly where they stand spiritually. You can safely explain to a toddler / preschooler that sanitary pads are for mom if she has mommy stomach pain. Just like you explain that a dish brush is to clean the dishes. Your child is then quickly satisfied with the answer. Then you don't have to extensively discuss the how and why of ovulation! Only if you give a somewhat uncomfortable answer, your child will continue to ask questions, or worse, the child will drop out and then ask nothing more.
I go wild, cherish everyone in a healthy way and answer all questions at a level. Can it now then? Yes! You also get tips to have 'the conversation'!! Well, it doesn't stop at one conversation with Free license , it's several small conversations.
Free license helps you by looking at sex education from your child's point of view. Imagine how he/she feels and that you as a parent have to accept that they are not going to tell you everything. As long as you know that they can (also) go to someone else. As a parent you can occasionally broach 'the subject' in a light-hearted way. You will automatically notice whether your child needs this or not. Do not force a conversation, because then the message will not arrive.
Sex education is not about having one conversation. You are not done with one conversation as a parent. In fact… that's when it starts. It's a constant process (as is true of parenting in general). It comes and goes in stages. Your child's phases. If you go along with your child's phases, you teach your child little by little and step by step how relationships, the body and the cooperation between them all work.
Free license gives you the tools to deliver this information in a good way. For yourself and therefore also your child. Not only when it comes to 'the act', but also about sex education in the bigger picture.
Are you interested in this book? You can find it here.
