The other day a kid was running around the pool.
The lifeguard asked him to please walk instead of run.
It's normal, it's always been the role of a lifeguard since swimming pools exist.
The boy's father, a big guy, came to see the lifeguard...
...and told him (I swear I'm not exaggerating) that "as the father" of the child, there was only him who could tell him what he had the right to do...
According to him, if the lifeguard had something to say, he should speak to him first, without speaking directly to the child...
....and that he, as a father, would decide whether his child needed to be lectured or not.
For his part, the lifeguard managed to keep his composure (if I were him, my eyes would have popped out of my head…or worse) and kindly replied that his job was to ensure that the rules of the pool be respected.
And that the rule "no running around the pool" was the usual rule in all swimming pools in the world.
The father suddenly turned and adopted an aggressive attitude to intimidate the lifeguard.
He said he didn't see the problem with his son's behavior. So, for him, the lifeguard just had to "shut up".
In summary: the kid was free to run around the pool because his father had decided so. "Nothing f***** about the pool rules! No one tells my son what to do but me!"
Oh yeah, anyway...
I find that at the moment there is a strange fear spreading among adults.
One day, my sister was having friends over at her house. One of the adults present that day then scolded one of my sister's children about sharing a toy with another child or something like that...
You know, the kind of stuff that adults regularly tell kids.
After a while, the adult in question realized his terrible mistake under the so-called "new rules of the 21st century" when it comes to scolding children who are not yours.
He then apologized to my sister for his behavior which he considered inappropriate.
" You're kidding me ? replied my sister. "I insist that you take my children back if they do things you think they shouldn't do. Don't deprive yourself!
They also need to learn to listen to what other people have to say. I must not be the only person they listen to and respect”.
If I'm the only one who can tell my kids what they can and can't do, I'm sure to drive them straight into the wall.
It's the best way to give them completely false hopes about the way the world works.
If I reasoned like this, it would become impossible for me to die because I would leave behind children unable to take care of themselves.
So according to the logic of the beefy pool dad, a lifeguard can't watch a pool, a teacher can't teach, a coach can't coach, and later in life his boss can't lead...
You see where this is taking us, right?
Is wanting to overprotect your children the new national sport?
We all know a mum who hangs around every day at school, overcomes all obstacles so that her child gets the best grade, is chosen as a class representative or is taken in the best classes.
Later, when her child is in high school, the teachers will surely laugh at her after she calls several times to discuss something that does not concern her.
One day, my middle school daughter and her classmate failed to turn in an assignment on time despite multiple reminders from their teacher reminding them that the due date was approaching.
My daughter's friend's mom, whom I had only met once briefly, came over to the house to talk about it.
I can tell you that she would never have left my house without us talking for 1 hour about this "injustice".
She was heartbroken at the disappointment her daughter must have felt at this failure. She absolutely wanted to fix this problem, one way or another.
She ended up leaving but only because I told her I had no idea what to do to fix this so-called "injustice".
I suggested that she raise this concern with a college official if she thought that her approach could convince the professor to change his decision. I never heard from her again...
I don't want to brag …but my boy, a high school student, failed a number of times on quite a few different subjects. Nothing very serious, nothing that is irremediable but who knows what the future holds!?
In fact, we talked about it recently. I told him my job is to let him make mistakes, while he's still living at home, because he needs to learn how to fall and then get up and move forward .
This is for me the most important skill to have in life. And I will be really sad, if one day, one of my children falls apart in a thousand pieces in the first semester of college because I am not there to solve the least of their problems.
This is an open letter to anyone who knows my children: you can tell them how they should behave. There is really, really, no problem :-)
Tell them not to put their feet on the coffee table. Tell them not to run by the pool, play with that knife, or touch your stuff. Whatever the rules are in your house, tell my children to respect them.
My motivation is purely selfish.
