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Men:what is true love for them?

“Men seek stability, not intensity”

According to Philippe Brenot, couple's psychiatrist and anthropologist*

True love is much less "absolute", "intense" and "obvious" in men than in women who are much more looking for "the only", "the unique". This is why a man will more easily have several great loves in his life, will move on more quickly "to something else" and will often confuse "passionate excitement" with the "great feeling of love". That does not mean that a man's love is less "great"! Like computers, we have different software, for cultural reasons (myth of Prince Charming among little girls…) and surely also natural ones. Our common point? Both men and women want a “great” love, in the “permanent” sense, because they have – more and more – a mad anxiety about breaking up.

* Author of Men, sex and love, ed. Marabout and One day, my prince, ed. The Arenas

"The trap of true love is that it implies that everything is acquired"

According to Ray Satou, journalist at BIBA

I don't mind being romantic, but let's be realistic, "great love" is really a girl's expression (a Prince Charming trick imposed on the imagination of little girls). In real life, "soul mate", "unique" and other too much terms are scary and not good because:1/ there would be a great risk of ending up alone (with ONE great love, given the number of breakups and people on Earth, we would be in trouble); and 2/ you might think, once you're in love, that it's acquired and you'll let yourself go... What am I looking for? A sincere love that makes me happy, period. If that's the "great love", the one that is built at its own pace, with doubts and beautiful moments (sometimes simple), then OK, I vote for.

“More than the perfect woman, they want the ideal couple”

According to Alexandre Cormont, love coach*
www.alexandrecormont.com

Men do not ask themselves the question in these terms. More than "love at first sight" with the "soul mate" and a "love that lasts forever", they talk about "love at first sight", say "it's her that I want". The expression "woman of my life" only comes after years of relationship. Their philosophy? "If I'm fine now, so much the better." They do not seek to analyze the why of the how. More than the perfect woman, they want the “perfect couple”, who will bring them 1/ attention, 2/ surprises (i.e. reciprocity in seduction and romanticism). The problem ? Some idealize the couple too much and leave the partner as soon as something does not correspond to their dream vision.

* Author of the site Understanding men and of the book “The art and the way of recovering your ex”, ed. Michel Lafon.