You thought there was only one way to argue? Well no. And according to an American study , the couples that work best have a very specific way of arguing . Disputes that would even be beneficial . » The happy couples tend to take a confrontational solutions approach , and this even for the subjects on which they choose to debate “, explained Amy Rauer , survey writer, at Family Process . To carry out the study, two groups of couples heterosexuals were surveyed:the first is made up of 57 couples who have an average age of 30 and have been married for an average of 9 years, the second, of 70 couples at least 70 years old and together for more than 40 years.
Once these groups were composed, they were asked to rank the topics that lead to an argument . It turns out that intimacy , hobbies, housework and health top the basket. On the other hand, the religion , family or even jealousy do not seem to be matters of dispute. And that makes sense. Indeed, the couples surveyed , supposedly happy, explain that they prefer to argue about "easy" topics to solve. Jealousy, for example, is most often irrational and results from one person's character. On the other hand, the distribution of household chores is a subject to be managed together. So if there is discord, it is possible to find common ground. "Rebalancing household chores may not be easy , but it lends itself better to concrete solutions than other problems" , underlines Amy Rauer. “Focusing on the hardest problems to solve can stifle confidence that partners agree in a relationship" , believes the journalist.
