"But I don't have time to date anyway!" I sigh, when a friend suggests that it might be exactly what I need. I also find myself extremely busy raising and enjoying princesses Emma, three days in paid employment, my own company and sports. Old Sophie is said to have said, "That's an apology, you're making a story out of it!" And to be fair, old Sophie was a lot better than new Sophie in some important things. Such as living stress free, enjoying the moment, being loving, not judging etc. Old Sophie was a hippie, but they are quite useful skills for a happy life. And old Sophie was going to start dating on Tinder now, so okay:mommy goes Tinder .
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If you are going to date and you have chosen a dating app, you must create a profile. Likewise on Tinder. You can select a number of photos and write a text about who you are. Here I have put down some things about myself in keywords. You can of course choose not to report that you are a mom, but I did use it. Nice and open and transparent. Don't like it, great! We both search a little further 😉 .
The first impressions on this meat inspection platform were a bit "meh". I went in a little too old Sophie style. Give everyone a chance. Try not to judge by appearance, tattoos, education, etcetera. I soon learned that a number of check-out criteria apply to myself as a swiping mom on Tinder and that I shouldn't be too open-minded.
Gone, Gone, Gone, Gone… I probably miss someone who is nice because of these criteria, but above all it saves a lot of time. Because all those matches will also talk to you!
If you like each other (swipe right), you have a match. A big advantage is that since I use the strict criteria as above, nobody immediately starts talking about sex. So I can really recommend them! Unless, of course, that would be exactly what you're looking for. Then create your own criteria to delete. That makes dating on Tinder a lot easier.
You may now think that there is only one man left after all these criteria, if you are lucky that is. But nothing is less true! There are just a lot of men on Tinder, and before I knew it I already had over 200 matches. And the nice thing is, they are actually mainly intelligent people with whom you can really have a conversation.
It's just a bit of an overkill to start dating them all. But really, I can recommend it to all single moms. In any case, a little chat with a mountain of matches on Tinder is already very pleasant. But it can't hurt to see what's still out there 😛 . And to be fair, the evenings can sometimes be a bit lonely when the household is finished and you don't have to work for a while.
I already mentioned it, you will then address each other. If you are not going to talk to your matches, you are mainly collecting profiles. Despite my intention to talk to everyone, it is conceivable that talking with 200 matches takes a lot of time. So I was also guilty of not talking to everyone. I went into it quite a bit business. As soon as I got the "nah" feeling I reported this and deleted the match. Easy.
But what do you say to each other? What is your opening line on Tinder? When I started a conversation, I usually asked a question about something from the profile. And I thought it was the best conversations when they did the same with me. The question “How are you?” or something along those lines I find quite a clincher if you don't know each other at all. I've had a lot of really nice conversations! So for that reason alone it is highly recommended!
Now Sunday, after weeks of texting, I had my first date! Okay, he wasn't as divinely handsome as the photos I've looked at 100 times. But much nicer and more charming than I expected about the app. So all in all, there will definitely be a second date, if it's up to me.
It may sound a little crazy, but I've really blossomed since I've been dating again. Not as if I was terribly unhappy or lonely, but I was just very little concerned with myself. And dating is also a way to get to know yourself a little better. Men ask you questions that you don't just have an answer to, so you start thinking about it.
Now that I know more about myself, I can start working on taking back the good things from old Sophie, and combining them with the self (and therefore Emma) caring things of the new Sophie.
Which Tinder can't be good for 😉 . Oh and I'll be sure to update you on a possible second date. Any tips for dating moms? Anyone?
Jeanne previously wrote an article about online dating as a widow, it's a great medium!
